Post # 1
So my maid of honor is trying to plan my bachelorette party… well WAS trying to plan it. But none of my bridesmaids are making it easy. I wanted a low key party, probably just wine tasting at the local vineyards. Two of my 7 bridesmaids get a pass because one of them lives across the country and the other lives 9 hours away so i completely understand them not attending. Plus my bridemsiad that lives 9 hours away surprised me and came to my bridal shower. My other bridesmaids are all pretty local. The logest one person would have to travel is 50 minutes. They’ve all told my maid of honor they have other things to do on like every single weekend she suggests. So my mom suggested that me my maid of honor and her go for a girls weekend after the wedding… That depresses me, like the wedding is over, why drag it out. I know everyone has money issues and all but my maid of honor told them that it would only be $50 per person to go wine tasting in a limo to 4 vineyards for 5 hours. She’s absorbing most of the other expenses (lunch and the tasting fees) she’s only asking the girls $50 for their portion of the limo. I’m disappointed that they can’t just give me part of their day. It’s not a whole day. The tour ends at 3 and everyone can leave after that. I feel bratty for complaining but i’m frustrated with my girls. One of my best friends completely missed my bridal shower and didn’t offer an appology or even a text that says “hey sorry i couldn’t be there”. Two of our friends think she might be jealous because she’s in the waiting phase but that’s no reason not to attend my festivities… I just really thought my girls would step up a little for me.
Post # 2
none of my attendants could make it to the bachelorette for various reasons. it basically consisted of my local girlfriends and we had an awesome time (dinner and karaoke). bachelorette parties should be the most casual of all the wedding events anyway.
Post # 3
the problem is that none of my local girlfriends can make it. They all have previous engagements… So unless they change their engagements i’m stuck with no party. I guess i’m a little jealous of my fiances bachelor party. My brother is his best man and planning on taking him to a Yankee game and then out to bars in the city all his friends are going…
Post # 4
I had neither a shower nor a bachelorette. You’ll live. 🙂
Post # 5
First of all, your Maid/Matron of Honor sounds like a peach! I want her, lol.
The thing about cost and money is this: If someone WANTS to do it (for themselves) they’ll do it (for you).
Maybe they just aren’t interested in wine tasting? I’d LOVE that, but I know 2 of my BMS wouldn’t want to spend $50 on that, regardless of how good of a deal it is.
The LAST approach I’d suggest she try is to ask them (or make a list of a few choices) what they’d LIKE to do. I bet a few schedules will suddenly become open! It’s just the way of the world. People are more likely to committ to a plan they actually want to partake on.
If that doesn’t work, I’d say screw it and book when you want what you want and see who shows up. People also tend to want to be in as soon as they know a plan is made and they may be excluded.
Post # 6
Sorry your girls aren’t able to attend. However, if your wedding date is accurate (October 2015), planning so close to the event is hard. I know right now I don’t have a single free weekend until November – it’s hard to plan things with little notice.
Post # 7
Sounds like your BMs are tapped out financially or unavailable, so unfortunately in your case, that is your answer. A bachelorette party is optional and plenty of people either don’t want one or manage to get married without ever having or missing the “experience.” FYI, these are not even recognized as an official pre-wedding event.
Fifty dollars may not sound like much to you, but in combination with a shower, the wedding expenses, and the rest of their lives, it all adds up fast.
Post # 8
No party here either. My Fi is having one, I am not. It wasn’t in the cards. Does it sting a bit? Yes, but it happened. I suggest you have your own day. While my Fiance is gone, this girl is getting her nails done, going to a movie alone, all of it! Go and relax for a day!
Post # 9
I think @mrsfiddlesticks
has the right idea.. It really sucks that they can’t make it and that u won’t have a bachelorette but I think you can keep yourself busy the weekend he’s having his, maybe spend the day with ur mom and Maid/Matron of Honor and have a mini bachelorette, at least it’s something and I think maybe that will make u feel a bit better.
btw wine tasting sounds like a great idea! I wish I could come! 😉☺️
Post # 10
is there any way you can change the date that works for your local friends?
Post # 11
Just a thought – do you think maybe it’s the idea of the limo and wine tasting that’s putting everyone off? Would your girlfriends be more open to dinner and a night out?
I had a girlfriend do a wine tasting and limo for her bachelorette. Between getting to her house, the drive to the vineyard, the tastings, lunch, and the drive home, we ended up spending more than 9 hours on this party. I know that you said it would only be 5, but if one girl is 50 minutes away that’s already basically 7 hours for her, assuming you leave and get back on time (we didn’t). That’s a LOT of time to spend on one party. It’s basically a full working day, on a weekend. Many people would be up for that. Me? I need my weekends to get things done, and (sad to say) as much as I love this friend I was dreading the party because I knew that I was basically loosing a full weekend day to it.
If the girls could meet you somewhere local and had the option to head home whenever they needed to (that is to say, if the girls drove themselves) maybe they would be more flexible? While a limo can be really fun, it also means you’re stuck following everyone else’s schedule. Dinner and a night out might also be a better option because, well, people need to get things done during the day, but everyone needs to eat dinner at some point, right? Then whoever was available could go out with you after dinner, and whoever was too busy could head home?
I know it wouldn’t be your dream party, but it’s better than nothing, yes?
Post # 12
I was just going to say that, there must be another date that works for some people?
Post # 13
“they all have previous engagements.”
OP you have to accept that your friends are honoring commitments they made before they knew when your bachelorette was going to be, and it’s only fair that they carry through and so those things they said they would do. It’s no reflection on you. Someone just got on their calendars first.
Post # 14
Sorry you got party poopers. Why don’t you just have your mom, moh, and who ever else is able to come and go anyway? So you can have some fun.
Post # 15
i think i’m just really jealous because my brother is my fiance’s best man and all his friends are going and taking him to a yankee game and out to the bars afterward. My maid of honor is trying so hard to find a day to work for everyone. She did wait a little long to do this since my wedding October 10th so i guess i can’t really complain. I’m just a little bummed out.