(Closed) no bachelorette for me :-/

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
763 posts
Busy bee

none of my attendants could make it to the bachelorette for various reasons. it basically consisted of my local girlfriends and we had an awesome time (dinner and karaoke).  bachelorette parties should be the most casual of all the wedding events anyway. 

Post # 4
1056 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
daniellemc:  I had neither a shower nor a bachelorette. You’ll live. 🙂

Post # 5
1617 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

First of all, your Maid/Matron of Honor sounds like a peach! I want her, lol.

The thing about cost and money is this: If someone WANTS to do it (for themselves) they’ll do it (for you). 

Maybe they just aren’t interested in wine tasting? I’d LOVE that, but I know 2 of my BMS wouldn’t want to spend $50 on that, regardless of how good of a deal it is.

The LAST approach I’d suggest she try is to ask them (or make a list of a few choices) what they’d LIKE to do. I bet a few schedules will suddenly become open! It’s just the way of the world. People are more likely to committ to a plan they actually want to partake on.

If that doesn’t work, I’d say screw it and book when you want what you want and see who shows up. People also tend to want to be in as soon as they know a plan is made and they may be excluded.


Post # 6
9995 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry your girls aren’t able to attend.  However, if your wedding date is accurate (October 2015), planning so close to the event is hard.  I know right now I don’t have a single free weekend until November – it’s hard to plan things with little notice.  

Post # 7
13967 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Sounds like your BMs are tapped out financially or unavailable,  so unfortunately in your case, that is your answer. A bachelorette party is optional and plenty of people either don’t want one or  manage to get married without ever having or missing the “experience.” FYI, these are not even recognized as an official pre-wedding event. 

Fifty dollars may not sound like much to you, but in combination with a shower, the wedding expenses, and the rest of their lives, it all adds up fast. 

Post # 8
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

No party here either. My Fi is having one, I am not. It wasn’t in the cards. Does it sting a bit? Yes, but it happened. I suggest you have your own day. While my Fiance is gone, this girl is getting her nails done, going to a movie alone, all of it! Go and relax for a day!

Post # 9
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
daniellemc:  I think @mrsfiddlesticks has the right idea.. It really sucks that they can’t make it and that u won’t have a bachelorette but I think you can keep yourself busy the weekend he’s having his, maybe spend the day with ur mom and Maid/Matron of Honor and have a mini bachelorette, at least it’s something and I think maybe that will make u feel a bit better.

btw wine tasting sounds like a great idea! I wish I could come! 😉☺️

Post # 10
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

View original reply
daniellemc:  is there any way you can change the date that works for your local friends?

Post # 11
2125 posts
Buzzing bee

Just a thought – do you think maybe it’s the idea of the limo and wine tasting that’s putting everyone off? Would your girlfriends be more open to dinner and a night out?

I had a girlfriend do a wine tasting and limo for her bachelorette. Between getting to her house, the drive to the vineyard, the tastings, lunch, and the drive home, we ended up spending more than 9 hours on this party. I know that you said it would only be 5, but if one girl is 50 minutes away that’s already basically 7 hours for her, assuming you leave and get back on time (we didn’t). That’s a LOT of time to spend on one party. It’s basically a full working day, on a weekend. Many people would be up for that. Me? I need my weekends to get things done, and (sad to say) as much as I love this friend I was dreading the party because I knew that I was basically loosing a full weekend day to it.

If the girls could meet you somewhere local and had the option to head home whenever they needed to (that is to say, if the girls drove themselves) maybe they would be more flexible? While a limo can be really fun, it also means you’re stuck following everyone else’s schedule. Dinner and a night out might also be a better option because, well, people need to get things done during the day, but everyone needs to eat dinner at some point, right? Then whoever was available could go out with you after dinner, and whoever was too busy could head home?

I know it wouldn’t be your dream party, but it’s better than nothing, yes?

Post # 12
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
sumshine.dawn:  I was just going to say that, there must be another date that works for some people?

Post # 13
6610 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

“they all have previous engagements.”

OP you have to accept that your friends are honoring commitments they made before they knew when your bachelorette was going to be, and it’s only fair that they carry through and so those things they said they would do. It’s no reflection on you. Someone just got on their calendars first.

Post # 14
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

Sorry you got party poopers. Why don’t you just have your mom, moh, and who ever else is able to come and go anyway? So you can have some fun.

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