Post # 1
So the story goes: I had originally planned to have just 2BMs, my sisters, but neither are able to fly to the UK to be here for various reasons. Instead I have chosen 5 friends to be my BMs but officially no MOHs as this would’ve been my sisters position. The sad thing now is that with 6wks to go before my wedding, there has been no mention of a bachelorette/hen party being arranged 🙁 My FIs best man was on the case arranging the stag before we even had the church booked (they’re all off to Amsterdam next weekend) and here I am with no plan in sight.
Have I brought this on myself by not officially having a MOH? All my BMs are in touch with each other, I made sure I introduced those who hadn’t met before & exchanged details etc
I’ll admit one Bridesmaid or Best Man did attempt to arrange something around her schedule, with little notice and then she didn’t show (she had flown home from holiday that morning and was ‘really tired’, her words “if you really wanted me to come you should’ve just asked me” – even though she was the one supppsed to be arranging it! What the…?. That night ended up with myself and 2BMs having a quiet night in.
Im here now very sad and disappointed that my friends havent planned anything. Is it my own fault? Do I need to coordinate it myself?
This should be the happiest time, I just feel so let down…
Post # 3
@swanchai: I know what you mean. Most of my friends and family are in another country. FIs family doesn’t really celebrate much of anything… no bachelorette/bridal shower for me. I have two jobs, and though my coworkers aren’t being invited, ladies at each of theses jobs have said “we need to throw you a bachelorette party!” I told them to go right ahead… but no one has. Our wedding is in about a month, and since Christmas and New Years weeks are out, I’m guessing it’s not happening. One coworker today asked me something about when I’m having my bachelorette party and I just shrugged. I feel let down since they brought all this up, not me… but whatever.
Your BMs dropped the ball here a bit :- I think it’s okay to throw yourself one if you really want, as long as you don’t ask other people to pay your way. Organize a fun night out with the ladies… I’m sure they’ll be glad to attend!
Post # 4
It sounds like a case of “everyone’s job is no one’s job.” By not having someone ‘in charge’ how are they going to know who should coordinate things? They might have thought they would be stepping on someone’s toes – did they know that there wasn’t going to be a MOH? It’s also possible that they didn’t know it was their job to organise the hen’s night – before coming on here, I just assumed bridesmaids had to show up on the day, and the Maid/Matron of Honor organising a party was just an optional extra.
I think just throw a party yourself! It may not be a trip to another country, but even just a night out having a bit of fun could be a good chance to blow off some steam before the wedding!
Post # 5
I agree! Just throw it yourself! I know its not traditional, but its still something. Is there any Bridesmaid or Best Man you are more close to? Maybe you can say something to her an arrange something?