(Closed) no bday present, snub or recession

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

O man that stinks. Is there any way she didnt get you a present because the party was planned in such short time? Maybe she wasn’t prepared to give you the gift at that point in time?

I think you should spread the presents out, I think it’s good your not going to stoop to her level.

Post # 5
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It is always better to just be gereous. It will make you feel good about yourself. You will never feel bad about extening kindness and generousity to others. That way you are not at fault and will never feel guilty. Plus, I bet a really nice b-day gift would make your SIL realize how foolish she was to come to a birthday party empty handed. Just smile, don’t ask them about it and move on.

Post # 6
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

My thought is that different people have different expectations of gift giving. I don’t give birthday presents to either of my SILs — my brother’s wife and DH’s sister. However, if you have set the expectation of gift giving, it is right to reciprocate, and I see your other examples of snubbery too.

I’d figure something is up with this behavior. Who knows what…. is this BIL your husband’s brother, and his wife is a little perturbed with spending time with her in-laws? That’s my guess.

My advice: continue to give token gifts when appropriate, or if you find something they’ll really like. Ask them out every once in a while. Continue to be the “bigger person” and try not to expect too much. Either they’ll come around or they’re too consumed in their own lives to be friendly. Good luck! I know how hard it is to try to get along with new families that do things differently than you do.

Post # 7
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would spread the gifts out.

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