Post # 1
My fiance moved in with me 2 years ago when I started grad school out of state. Sadly, he left some friends behind — and none of them kept in touch with him. His best friend is actually my ex-boyfriend, who I dated for 5 years. It’s a long story but basically, my ex set me up with his best friend and now we’re getting married.
My fiance used to be very close with my ex, and they still see each other sometimes, but my fiance feels like he has no friends. He isn’t sure if he should ask my ex to be his best man, or if he should ask one of his friends who he has only heard from twice in the past two years. To be honest, I think he should ask my brother — because he’s close with my brother and they talk often and hang out a few times per month. Should I say something? I have a Maid/Matron of Honor and two bridesmaids (my fiance’s stepsisters), so my fiance is looking for a Best Man and two groomsmen. I think it makes sense for my brother to be the Best Man and for my ex and the other friend to be groomsmen. My fiance feels like there is nobody at all that he can ask – he says he has no best friend, and that my brother is only his friend because “he has to be”, which isn’t true. I’m not sure if I should jump in and tell him my opinion? Should I just leave it alone and let him figure it out?
Post # 3
You could bring up your suggestions of the three men but I would let him sort out who fills which role.
Post # 4
I agree with julies1949. Offer your suggestions, but let him figure it out for himself.
Post # 5
That’s what I figured… I brought it up today by asking, “Have you thought about who you’d like to include in our wedding?” and he said no. Haha. I’ll let him sort it out on his own.
Post # 6
I know this was almost a year ago…but I have sort of a similar issue. I “fixed” it but it’s definitely not the way i would prefer it.
My fiance is not the most social guy, he doensn’t drink or like going to bars or being around drunk people so it’s kind of been hard for him to get to know my guy friends and he used to have good friends but they haven’t spoken in years due to their behavior and just not being on the same path anymore (they are all stoners) and very tragically his best friend that he did have passed away at 18 about 6 years ago.
So…basically what I have going on is my bestie since we were 5 is being my only bridesmaid and my gay best friend who is technically my “MAN of honor” is going to stand next to my future hubby…not ideal. he is okay with it but obviously I would much rather it be someone he loves and wants there next to him. A little relived that I’m not the only bride to be with that issue.
I hope it worked out for you! That sounded like a solid solution you had. : )