(Closed) No Bouquet/Garter Toss: Will Single Folk Feel Left Out?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 46
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I guess it depends on your crew but in my opinion, and with my friends & family, all the Singles would LOVE YOU FOREVER for not subjecting them to that!

Post # 47
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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rckeeper :  have been in my relationship for way over a decade, but not engaged until now. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been dragged out on that floor to catch a bouquet. It’s embarrassing and to me highlighted my status to everyone, who’d say things like, “you still aren’t married yet?” 

At my wedding I will not do a bouquet or garter toss. I hated that singled out feeling with a passion and I’m not making my guests uncomfortable. 

Post # 48
Member
3067 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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rckeeper :  when i was single I would literally run away when they did the boquet toss…found it to be stupid and embarrassing…more for the little girls 

Post # 49
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

As someone who was single for a LONG time, and went to many weddings alone, I have to tell you that anything that singles out singles OR marrieds will probably make single people feel really self conscious. People always think it’s nice to do something recognizing married people but if you’re sad to be alone and worried it will never happen to you and all of your friends are married so get to participate – that’s no fun either. That said, it’s way better than forcing single friends into a bouquet toss. That’s extra horrible. So don’t feel bad about cutting that out!

Post # 50
Member
2352 posts
Buzzing bee

As someone who is 40 and went to a few weddings alone..I never felt left out if they ditched it. But usually they didnt and I got dragged out there. 

 

A recent wedding NO ONE went up there….no one…they were trying to figure out who should go up there…but no one moved from their tables. I’m not sure if its because there were no single people or if they just flat out refused to go. This dragged on for 20 min. It was horrible. They finally decided that people who weren’t married, but in a relationship should do it, and people still wouldn’t move. Finally a cousin or something stood up and her finacee did it. 

Ditch it. Please ditch it. No one cares about this anymore. 

Post # 51
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

As single guest, I always kind of hated the bouquet/garter toss (to the point where I’d run to the bathroom when I realized it was happening), so I would be happy about this! I don’t think anyone will miss it.

Post # 52
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

A bouquet/garter toss is the worst thing you could do for single guests. I hate it. No, I detest it. I usually wouldnt go, unless I was forced and then I would just stand there and not attempt to catch the bouquet. The worst was one where the bride made everyone stand there and then she turned arond and gave it to her brothers girlfriend – why did we all have to stand there if she was just going to do that?

And the whole the groom goes under your dress to get a garter – is crass and makes guests uncomfortable. No one needs to see that.

Post # 53
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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arquelle :  This! I’ve been dragged out there before. LOL, the bouquet *hit* me one time and I still didn’t catch it. Meanwhile the girls 10 years younger than me fought over it.

Also, hell-to-the-no about garter tosses. That’s gross and I’m sure no one in my family wants to see Fiance go up my dress. I always cringe at those.

Post # 54
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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rckeeper :  We think the garter toss is about the tackiest thing around so we’re flat out not doing it. We are going to do a flower toss, but for the kids. That’s the only ones who ever do it at our family weddings anyway. I can’t say I’ve ever participated in one myself. We’re the last one’s in FI’s family to get married (other than a younger step-brother who lives with his Girlfriend and will get married when college is done) and my cousins are either much older or much younger, so we aren’t going to have many single people at our wedding. 

Post # 55
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

We didn’t do one and no one missed it. I had two threw ways made and give them to his mother and my aunt. The end

Post # 57
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I went to a wedding once where they didn’t do any of the traditional stuff and I didn’t notice.  Some of my girlfirends did and were VERY weird about it.  One even said it was anti-climatic!  

Post # 58
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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rckeeper :  I think if you have any one who is recently widowed or recently divorced (espeically if a difficult divorce — but aren’t they all?), it is MUCH, MUCH different from your single situation.  No, not everyone will feel rejected or sad, but some might.  There is no need to have a couples dance, just as there is no need to do bouquet toss.   Please, people come to the wedding to see you and groom get married.  As to what makes receptions great, some may say music, some may say food.  I doubt anyone says the couples dance.

Post # 59
Member
14095 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your single guests will probably thank you for not akwardly pointing out the fact that they haven’t found a SO.  I find this practice to be so outdaated and uncomfortable.

Post # 60
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

I always hated both traditions, whether or not I was single. So. Much. Awkwardness.

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