(Closed) No Bridal Party?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t have a bridal party. I’ve never had much interest in the traditional stuff, though. 

But, out of curiosity, what issues do you think would arise from not having one? What is the “point” of a bridal party? (I’m not at all being judgmental or rude, I just don’t know anything about why people have them / feel they should have them.)

Post # 5
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I went to a wedding several years ago that had no bridal party. When it came to the bouquet, all she did was hand it off to her mother when she reached the top of the aisle. Their parents were both seated at the front, so they hugged their parents and she gave her mother the bouquet. The officiant had the rings on a small pretty table where they had a candle that they lit together. It was all very simple and very smooth and very sweet. 

I won’t be having a bouquet. As I said, I’m not really big on the traditional wedding stuff and I actually find the idea of walking down the aisle toward my fiancé and past everyone staring at me to be…uncomfortable. I’m not a fan of being the center of attention. It’s why I didn’t want a “proper” wedding in the first place. I was looking forward to going to sign some papers and having done with it. That sounds incredibly unromantic and blah, I know, but I hope you know what I mean! 

Instead, though, we are having a wedding with people, despite my overall confusion regarding how I turned into a wedding person (I DO want this and it was my idea! What happened?!). So I will have to get over the “omg people are looking at me!” thing. To kind of dial down the all-eyes-on-me anxiety, my fiancé and I will walk up to the arbor together. He won’t see me before that (I DO like that tradition), but then I will step out of the house and we will walk up hand-in-hand. 

There are plenty of ways to get around having a bridal party if deciding on who to have in yours is causing you more stress than they are supposed to alleviate. 

Post # 7
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mrs. Puffin:  Me too! If I didn’t have a specific date in mind, we’d have done the papers already and to hell with a wedding. But there’s something about October… Maybe it’s the fact that we both want to be out of Arizona at some point and into a city where October brings beautiful colors and crisp air and a totally different smell as the leaves and weather change, rather than a city where October still hovers around 110. 

Not wanting to be the center of attention is also why we’ve opted out of all of the other traditional things like toasts and a head table and a first dance and so on and so forth. I want people to mingle, to laugh and talk, not to have to wait in a line to approach us and wish us congratulations. Too often at weddings, I feel like the bride and groom are these untouchables to anyone save the wedding party. I don’t see what the point is of inviting all of these people if none of them get to say more to you than “congratulations!” and “that was lovely!”. I want to be a part of the celebration, and for everyone else to be a part of “my” day, not just peripheral to it. 

Post # 8
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not havig a bridal party i think they’re pointless

Post # 10
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m not having a bridal party either. I can’t see the point for me and I didn’t want the whole issue of having to worry about organising even more for the wedding.

I asked my oldest friend to be the witness and she can wear whatever she wants but she may have a small bouquet if she wants it.

The weird part is that my Fiance has 2 best men and his brother as an usher so the wedding is totally uneven. if people wonder about it, so be it. It’s how we wanted it and I doubt they’ll spend more than a few seconds wondering about it. The wedding is not for them anyway!

I would’ve gone for the simple registry office followed by drinks with a few close friends and family but Fiance is more traditional and as @ellisrobertson said, I am actually enjoying it and looking forward to a ‘proper’ wedding but that doesn’t mean that I can’t pick and choose the elements that suit mine and FI’s personalities.

Post # 11
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Otterly:  Exactly! For some of us, only certain parts of the whole thing are appealing. In the spirit of keeping things small and intimate with only people we know well and want to share the day with, my brother is the one marrying us!

What are you guys doing for yours? Indoor? Outdoor? What kind of dress, etc.? 

Post # 12
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I totally understand this – because I’ve been going through the same thing! I personally hate the idea of prioritizing my friends like that…and I think the wedding day should really be about the bride and groom. 

So if you don’t want a bridal party, don’t have one! It’s your day, and there’s no reason to have one just because it’s tradition. 

I think that’s the thing that’s so hard for brides….breaking what’s expected of us (white dress, bridesmaids, diamond rings…) but if you want no bridal party, a black dress, and a ring made out of plastic, go for it!! Don’t get tied down to a mold that doesn’t fit what YOU want! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ellisrobertson:  

It’s a lot more conventional than I would’ve liked tbh!

Getting married in a lovely old building then coaching everyone to a marquee reception in the garden of a beautiful Engish cottage in the middle of the countryside belonging to a family friend.

Usual drinks reception (but I want and ice-cream machine too) and canapes in the garden with a harpist (FI choice, I wanted Spanish guitar) then meal in the marquee, I won and convinced Fiance to have it family style so everyone can share and pass things to each other etc rather than silver service.

There will be a self service bar with ales from FI’s region and , South American drinks  to represent my side.

Music will be a mix of cheese and indie plus some Latin for my family, no bouquet or garter toss, no fancy car for us – my uncle driving us, spending night before together as will sleep better, no bridesmaids or flower girls.

I didn’t want to be walked in and given away but my mother wanted to do that instead of speech so she’s walking me but no talk of anyone being ‘given away’

Got my simple maggie Sottero wedding dress from ebay for $40 including p&p, I like it well enough, dress doesn’t mean a lot to me. Always said I didn’t want a white dress but now have one, said no veil but mum said looked elegant so got a second hand one form ebay again just to see and actually love it.

Doing flowers myself and friend doing the cake which I hope will be funky. Invitations were in style of gig tickets. No getting ready shots.

Only people who know us as a couple are invited. 

Sorry for going on so much! How is your prep going?

Post # 14
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ellisrobertson:  we’re having a hotel wedding which is located along the Thames. It’s quite pretty and spacious to accommodate the large number of guests that we’re having.

i’d say 95% of the prep is done

Seriously guys, don’t stress about it, you can only do what you can in preparing for it and it will take a life of its own on the day.

Post # 15
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

this is my dress

 

 

but it hasn’t arrived yet

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