(Closed) No bridal party – downsides?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
552 posts
Busy bee

I think the part that I love most about having a wedding party is the support. There have been countless times in my wedding planning so far where it was just wonderful to vent to someone or get an outside opinion.

On the other hand, I’m sure you have supportive friends and/or family you can vent to or ask for outside opinions on that would love to help you despite not being part of the wedding party. Also, sometimes outside opinions are NOT what you want.

Post # 3
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

We did not have a wedding party besides a flower girl and ring bearer. It was the best decision ever! We had the support we needed from the people that wanted to help. I still had wedding showers and bachelorette parties. And he had a bachelor party. All thrown by our closest friends. And there was no resentment towards wedding party members not helping when we needed it. I gave small gifts to people that helped me and called it good.

Post # 4
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

We didn’t have a bridal party. Well a Maid/Matron of Honor (sister) & Best Man (his brother). While it was completely stress free and I have no regrets… I would’ve loved a big group shot or getting ready with them.

Post # 5
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

bibber :  I had two of my best girls at my house while I got ready and they helped eachother get ready. Our wedding was small (40ish people) with a bigger reception (100ish people), so we had a group shot of the wedding and I had pictures with my best friend and her family.

Post # 6
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We decided not to have a bridal party, my wedding is next year so I don’t have regrets yet. 

I have supportive friends and family that are there for me during planning and have no problem not having  a title. 

 

Post # 7
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We’re still debating this.  On the one hand, things would be easier (and cheaper) not having a bridal party except for a Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man.  On the other hand, in all the weddings I stood up in, they were pretty much drama free (well, there was one with a ton but I am no longer friends with the bride) and my friends have already asked if I plan on having one, so I think they actually want to be bridesmaids.

My friend had a destination wedding last year in Hawaii with a reception when they got home (not popular on this site but it worked well for her).  She’s told me a few times that she sometimes wishes she had all her friends there just because it would have made things more fun.

Post # 9
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

kprecis :  I had my sister and SILs get ready with me, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Post # 10
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

kprecis :  I had the same thoughts, and then realized that the people I want there can still get ready with me if I ask them! 

Post # 11
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that the biggest things are that if you are hoping for a typical pre-wedding celebrations (shower/bachelorette) they may or may not happen because no one is “in charge” and sometimes everyone is waiting/expecting someone else to handle it

also expect that you will get more questions since there isn’t really anyone else to call/ask (like if I was wondering what the deal was with the hotel or something I might call the Maid/Matron of Honor and talk to her about it but if there isn’t one then I would have to call the bride)

finally you might just have to change your expectation – like if you want a bunch of your girls around the night before or the morning of to get ready if I wasn’t in the bridal party I might not plan for that and might just show up at the wedding vs getting a room the night before same things for other events (like going dress shopping, or having someone come help learn how to bussle your dress, or even just having someone come sit with you while you address your invites)  – while obviously none of these things are “must do” for a bridal party I would be a lot more likely to do this if I was in the wedding vs just attending

Post # 13
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We had no bridesmaids or groomsmen at our wedding. The marriage is mainly about the union of the two partners. The wedding party is secondary. The only minor downside was that we didn’t have the extra personpower for setup. 

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