(Closed) No bridal shower planned? Do I plan my own?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You don’t plan your own shower, no. 

Post # 3
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
julybride93: it’s kind of gift grabby of the bride to plan her own shower. a luncheon is cool though

Post # 4
Member
9162 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

A shower is a gift not a right. It sucks if you don’t have someone who wants to gift that to you but life is full of disappointments.

Post # 5
Member
639 posts
Busy bee

 

Newp.

Showers are a gift given to you by someone else. If no one has offered, you can’t plan one yourself.

Post # 7
Member
639 posts
Busy bee

 

Look, I’m sorry that your bridesmaids are not being terribly invested or supportive. I really am. But it’s wildly inappropriate to plan your own *shower*, even if they aren’t doing it themselves.

If you want to simply have a day of celebration, then plan a party that isn’t a “shower”, so that gifts are not mentioned/expected/hinted at/etc.

Post # 8
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
julybride93:  We didn’t have any parties. No engagement party, shower, etc. Although we have been informed that we will have a bachelor and bachelorette party. If you want to have a small get together, such as the previous poster said, have a luncheon! Don’t register anywhere for the event, don’t even discuss registries. Just a celebration of the love you and your Fiance share. Fiance and I have been living together for years and we’re in our 30’s so any events that usually require people to bring gifts, we politely turned down. 

Post # 9
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

The point of a shower is to “shower” the guest of honor with gifts.  And it is rude to throw your own party with the expectation of receiving gifts.  Therefore, no, you should not plan your own shower.

However, if you would just like to plan a small get-together with your friends and family, do so…just don’t call it a shower.  Have a luncheon, or a spa day, or whatever instead, so it’s clear that gift-giving is not expected.

Post # 10
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
julybride93:  I agree, people can be so rude. Have your shower, you deserve one! 🙂 How about you plan it and have the invites sent from your Maid/Matron of Honor address? Lol In the end their are no written rules, it’s your wedding! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
julybride93:  Yes, exactly! I really hope you have a great bridal shower! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
julybride93:  The problem is that showers are for the sole purpose of giving gifts. It’s called a shower because you “shower the honoree with gifts”. What you’re talking about… a party to celebrate but not with gifts… is something else entirely. You can have an engagement party. You can have a bridal luncheon. You can have a “girls night out”. But calling it a shower is basically a request for gifts. That is why you’re getting all the harsh comments. Sorry- I think a lot of bees forget that not everyone knows these things. It’s just about the language. Call it anything else and people don’t assume they have to bring a gift.

And I’m sorry your bridesmaids suck and don’t want to give you a shower. That bites. We all want to be supported during our wedding planning and it sounds like you’re not getting that. You have every right to feel sad about it. 

Post # 15
Member
3321 posts
Sugar bee

A shower is a very specific kind of party.  The kind of party where gifts ARE required. You cannot be showered with gifts (the meaning of shower) and in the same breath day it’s not about gifts.It sounds like what you want is a bridal luncheon, a chance to spend time with friends.If you want to host a luncheon go nuts.  But a shower is about gifts.

 

 

 

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