Post # 1
Just wanted to get other peoples thoughts….
I live over 1000 miles away from my family and friends (all bridal party members). I don’t expect to have a bridal shower, should I say anything about it?
My Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man I don’t think, are thinking about bridal showers, I figure I might have a "girl’s night" out bachelorette party – but not the bar-hoping, stripper thing, but no bridal shower.
Also, I don’t expect my bridesmaids to know anything about what "duties" they typically have or don’t have to do. But when I send out the "will you be my BM" cards, I will include what the "duties" are.
Post # 3
Is it that you don’t want one or you don’t think they are thinking about having one? Unless it’s that you really don’t want one, I think you should leave it up to your Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaids. They are the ones who have to throw it anyway. I think I would regret not having one if I wasn’t. Plus I think my bridesmaids are really looking forward to it.
About the duties – I was lucky that one of my bridesmaids is getting married shortly after me, and knew everything about what bridesmaids are "supposed" to do and could share it with the other girls (especially helpful since we are the first to get married and lots of our friends would be clueless like yours). I know The Knot has articles about what a bridesmaid does. That might be a nice way to let your friends know what is typically expected.
Post # 4
I believe my friends don’t know they’re the ones to host the bridal shower. I’d love to have one. Also, my friends wouldn’t know who to invite (since I’ve moved out of the area three years ago).
Post # 5
Aww, of course it would be nice to have one. Can you (secretly) have your mom call them to ask what’s going on? That way you don’t have to get your hands dirty. Or is there someone else who can ask? Maybe another non Bridesmaid or Best Man friend, you can tell this to? Maybe she can call them to ask if they have anything going on, if she can help, if they need the info for the guests?
Post # 6
Every girl deserves a shower (esp. if you want one!) I agree with Tanya and maybe ask your mom to mention something, if she is involved in teh wedding. If she’s not, let us know and we will come up with another idea!
Post # 7
I don’t have any real advice for you, as I’m in the same boat now — I kinda told them, "Oh, I don’t expect everyone to travel, so don’t worry about it!" because my BMs are all Out of Town (except for one out of the 8 BMs). Now, 2 months out, I’m PISSED that nobody gave it a 2nd thought, in the entire year-and-a-half I’ve been engaged! (And I know there’s not some surprise party around the corner — nobody’s ever asked for the guest list from me, so how would they know whom to invite, you know?).
The best I can say is, if you feel uncomfortable speaking up about it directly, yes, def go through your Mom and, if you can, email your Mom and MoH and Future Mother-In-Law or whomever may be most likely to take the reins on this a copy of your guest list, "… just in case you need it for anything! :)" This way, it looks innocent, but you’re really just laying the foundation for them to get the hint without actually realizing they’ve been given one!