(Closed) no bridesmaid, need advice

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I think if it means a lot to you for your sister to be a bridesmaid, find something that will work for both of you. Could she wear a pant-suit, similar to what the guys are wearing? I promise this will not look weird! If people know her, they will understand why she is not wearing a dress. Many brides wear pant-suits to their wedding (usually if they are marrying a woman) but they still look great! If your sister still refuses, she is being absolutely RIDICULOUS. You didn’t mention her age, but my guess is that she is a teenager. She will learn quickly that you get nowhere in life by refusing to wear anything but jeans and sneakers.

If for some reason she is still acting like a baby and refuses to go to your wedding, just have the 3 attendants. Once again, I promise this will not look weird! I am having no attendants. I went to a wedding with only a best man, no Maid/Matron of Honor and no other attendants. You should have the people who are close to you standing up with you on your wedding day, regardless of how many of them there are.

All that said, if you choose to go with no bridal party, that’s fine too! Like I said, that’s what I am doing. I think my point is that you shouldn’t feel you have to do any one thing because that’s what you “should” do. Any of these options would work fine!

Post # 4
Member
32 posts
Newbee

4 is not too small-  Have you offered paying for the dress for her so she doesn’t feel like it’s a waste of her money (since she will likely never wear it again) …?   Work it out with your sister and 4 is going to look just fine!  

Post # 5
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Greenpat468:  I think having no one in your party is fine, people have more problems with their parties than it’s worth IMO. But it sounds like you’ve already told your one sister that is excited, so now are you going to kick her out of the “party”?

Post # 6
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would offer to meet your sister halfway – rather than wearing a dress, have her wear a pantsuit, or nice slacks and a blouse that isn’t too girly but is the bridesmaid color, and loafers/flat dress shoes/ballet flats/some shoes that are flat but not sneakers. If she feels so strongly about it, I’d just accomodate her if you want her in the wedding. We had to make dress changes for one of our bridesmaids who is Mormon and needed a completely different dress from everyone else. We just did it because having her there was more important than what she was wearing.

Post # 8
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s perfectly fine to have a Bridal Party that’s not evenly matched. Your sister is acting a little bit like a brat, so let her off the hook and go with the sister who’s excited to be a part of it.

Post # 9
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My brother and my best friend each had only one on each side. Im only having two on each side. I think one and two is fine. 

Post # 10
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Greenpat468:  I think you need to tell your sister just how much this means to you.  If she loves you, she will come around.  It is ONE DAY.  She can do this for one day.

Maybe she is worried about finding the money for the dress and she just doesn’t want to let you know that?  Perhaps you could ask her again, tell her how much this means to you, and tell her that you will pay for her dress?  That might help.

Post # 11
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I do think it’s weird that she refuses to wear anything besids jeans & sneakers.

My mom usually wears pants suits when she’s a guest at weddings.

Post # 12
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Don’t enable your sister’s behavior.  If you want symmetry in the bridal party then tell her what you are and are not willing to compromise on as far as her wedding attire goes, as well as that you only want her there under conditions that are agreeable, including her attitude (tone: unwavering, loving, yet a smidge of disappointment as a result of her selfishness).  If you want her there, try.  If she is still a pill, then don’t cause yourself any more anxiety by continuing to deal with her—if she can’t see and appreciate that you are honoring her, then so be it.

 

If you don’t care that the bridal party is uneven, then don’t worry about anything you don’t want to (including the regret of not having anyone at your side due to your fiancé’s worry over appearances).  I like small bridal parties, it is more intimate—to me it says that you want to share this experience with the people you have the most meaningful relationships with. More to the point, I think it makes those you do include seem more special.  I will be having two men and one woman total in my bridal party (male and female on my side of the aisle), and never had a second thought about it (even considering that I excluded two of my siblings from this list).  Don’t let her rain on your parade.

Post # 14
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Greenpat468:  I’m glad!  Just relax and try to enjoy the experience as much as possible.  It is supposed to be a day about your love and happiness afterall, and looking back after the big day should only remind you of this and not others’ troublemaking Smile

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