I will agree that it just depends on preference . The only wedding I have ever been in was when my cousin got married when I was 9. It was a family only thing (they got married at the house, her sister in law and our aunt were MOH/bridesmaid, I was jr bridesmaid, and my sister and her cousin from the other side were flower girls, and her other cousin was a jr groomsman, and whatnot. So anyway, when my best friend got married her sister was Maid/Matron of Honor and her stepson best man. When each of my other two best friends got married, they each had a local friend as a bridesmaid/MOH and that was that. However, i’ve always envisioned mine in being bigger, and because I’m equally close to all three friends, it would be hard for me to pick just one (we all met at the same time, stayed in the same circle for 20+ years) so I’m not really closer to one over the other. On the other hand, because I’m so close to them, and vice versa, we have that kind of relationship that if I said something I liked and they didn’t, they’d say it. So our situation is a little unique. Also, my parents will be helping some, and I know if I didn’t include my sister (which I want to, or two of my cousins, who I”m also really close to) my mom probably wouldn’t help. So it comes down to either getting help, or not, childish as that sounds (on the other hand, my mom stated that any guest she would like me to have she is paying for, which takes the heat off me, because many are family who I’d like to invite, but since they’re her family, she’d be payin gfor them, so it all works in the end.
I don’t want a bachelorette party, or any showers, and have made sure they all know that, and hopefully no one tries to pull a surprise because I won’t be happy (I hate being center of attention, and its bad enough that I will be on the wedding day… but knowing I’ll have those people around me comforts me). I actually also got the idea from a wedding I attended a long time ago, where they had a huge wedding party, but there weren’t that many guests (maybe 20 who weren’t in the wedding… mainly parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles, and they paid for the dresses and tuxes, but it was still small, but they were surrounded by the nearest and dearest up at the alter. While its different from the norm, I really liked it.
And I know I got off topic from your original post… got distracted as I was typing, but in the end, its all about what YOU (and your Fiance of course) want.