No chairs ?!

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 16
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t like this. If you have older guests, anybody with arthritis, or disabilities, this could be very uncomfortable for them.

 

Post # 17
Member
2608 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

I went to a wedding where it was basically the same thing. I didn’t mind standing for the 10-15 minute ceremony, but there were some other people who would have really liked to have a seat since it was about a half mile walk to the ceremony site. How far of a walk is it? Would you be able to provide hay bales or something of the sort? especially for any elderly or disabled guests?

Post # 18
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Holly Hedge Estate

victorialew :  If by quick you mean 5 minutes or less for the ceremony, I would be okay with it. If it’s any longer, not okay with me. Women sinking into grass in their heels; older people feeling uncomfortable….it just isn’t pleasant. I would either find a way to make seats happen or think of an alternative TBH. 

Post # 20
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

victorialew :  You really need to provide chairs for your guests. Anyone who may be older, have disabilities (both visible and invisible), arthritis, previous leg, knee, or ankle injuries, preganent women, anyone who may have a hernia that you don’t know about, hell even people in heels will be extremely uncomfortable standing for even a “short” ceremony that is anything more than an exchange of vows and rings. 

If the last wedding I went to we had to stand through a 15 minute ceremony on uneven ground and it sucked. We actually had chairs but the officiant did not tell anyone to sit after the bride had made it down the aisle and those in the front did not sit down (🤦🏻‍♀️ dumb, I know) so those of us behind them had to remain standing as well so that we could see. There also wasn’t enough chairs for guests and the people standing behind us (without chairs) literally complained the entire time. People literally call her wedding “the one without chairs.” 

Post # 21
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Also, please excuse my total butchering of the spelling of “pregnant” in my previous comment 😂

Post # 22
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I went to a wedding last Fall that had a primarily standing ceremony, I think they had about 8 chairs total and it was universally understood that those were for people who needed them. It was an adults only wedding that geared youngish (most there were late 20s/early 30’s) which I think helped a little and the ceremony was reasonably brief. I personally didn’t mind at all, but would have if the ceremony had been long since I was in heels lol.

In short my only concern would be to consider your guest list or maybe ask if a few chairs are ok. Can Grandma comfortably stand that long? Do you have any disabled or infirm guests who will be put out by this? Do you know your guest list well enough to be sure your guests will be ok with this? 

Post # 23
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee

What I hate about scenarios where there are a handful of chairs “for those who need them” is that so many people have an invisible disability or infliction.  To the casual eye, they look young/healthy/strong and able to stand, but for whatever reason (which they should not have to disclose to others!) they cannot.  Yet if they take one of the limited chairs, they are met with sideye from people who think they’re being rude.

Post # 24
Member
607 posts
Busy bee

I like the idea of chairs, but I’d be okay without too. Like other people said above, just make sure there’s chairs for the elderly, those with small kids, or anyone else that may have a hard time standing for a specified period of time. 

Post # 25
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee

No I think chairs are a bare minimum. I fall under the category of looks healthy and strong but I had ankle surgery months ago and still can’t stand for 15 minutes straight without pain or swelling. 

I’d either have to leave after 15 mins or sit on the ground in my dress. 

Post # 27
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

You need some kind of seating for everyone.

Post # 28
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

victorialew :  I swear everyone on the bee has a $50,000 budget and has 100 Chivari chairs at their reception haha.

Standing ceremonies are extremely common where I am – I’ve been to various weddings of different friends family etc. And all but two were a standing ceremony and out of the sit down ones, one was in a church with pews and the other had about 15 guests.  The only time I was annoyed was when we were 10 minutes early and the bride was almost an hour late.  We ended up standing for over an hour and a half which was too long.

There has always been a small row of chairs though for the elderly and disabled.  You know your crowd, I would supply something (even if it’s camping chairs off to the side until the actual ceremony starts) for anyone with difficult for standing.  

We are having 4x benches.  First row is immediate family, second is for the elderly and disabled.  Our ceremony will be 15-20 minutes long.  This is followed by a standing cocktail hour outside however people can start wandering into the fully chaired reception area 10 metres away at their leisure 

Post # 29
Member
944 posts
Busy bee

youngbrokebride :  I’d be pissed if someone provided seats for family but not the rest of their guests just because they aren’t blooded related to the bride or groom. Very hierarchical. Chairs are cheap and even hay bales would suffice. If you have a low budget, cut something else out but not chairs! You’re sacrificing your guests’s comforts over other pretty things which is not good hosting in that situation. 

And I’m also young and look healthy but have back issues. I’d get a lot of stink eyes for sitting in the disability reserved chairs unless I taped a sign to my forehead explaining my back issues. 

 

Seating is necessary. You want people to enjoy your ceremony. Not be shifting from foot to foot praying for it to end ASAP. After the ceremony ends, you want guests to turn to the people around them and say “that was so beautiful!” Not, “oh thank god let’s go find a place to sit, my feet/back are killing me”

Post # 30
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

dobby98 :  chairs are like $5 each for rent where im from + delivery.  Not so cheap.  Also OP said they aren’t allowed chairs so the point is moot. When i say immediate family I mean literally mum, dad and siblings and its not for comfort, its to ensure they are right at the front.  I agree anyone with a disability and the elderly should have a seat so that would include you.  As I said, in my experience this is the norm around here.  Just sharing my experience, yours may differ and that’s fair enough.

 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors