(Closed) No challah or wine blessing at reception?

posted 6 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m Jewish (grew up Reform, and it’s mostly a cultural thing now) but my husband is not.  We had a very liberal rabbi perform our ceremony, and even my Mother-In-Law wanted to do “the chair thing” during the reception, haha!  My Mother-In-Law is a very religious Christian, and my husband is agnostic.  I was planning to skip the blessings at the reception, but my husband actually thought that my MIL’s Christian family/guests would be more offended by a lack of blessing than the Jewish version.  And neither my husband nor I were comfortable with a Christian blessing.  So, we ordered this awesome 8-lb challah and had my dad recite the hamotzi and bless the wine.  It took maybe a minute.

I think it depends on your social circle.  If people are used to waiting for a blessing, then it might not be clear to them whether it’s polite to start eating.  So, you might want to substitute it with a welcome speech or toast.

Post # 4
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

The blessings were honestly so short at ours, so it hardly made a difference. Our reception was pretty secular outside of the horah, and we did not bench after the meal because everyone was dancing and having fun. Those blessings took just a minute or two and it was good because it helped us transition from our entrance/first dance to the meal. I definitely would not have minded (or probably even noticed) if we skipped it, though.

Post # 5
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve never seen it but I don’t really think it would be a problem.  My feeling towards doing the blessing is like “why not” but if he is really opposed to it, just leave it out.

Post # 6
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@GretaCT: You actually wouldn’t do a blessing over wine at the reception no matter what, since you already made kiddush TWICE under the chuppah and, presumably, anyone who is Jewish said “amen”. You don’t *need* to do a mass motzi, whoever is religious enough will say the blessing themselves before eating bread anyways if there isn’t a giant challah at the party.  Hope that helps!

Post # 7
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@vintageclassy:  this is correct.

I’ve never seen a wedding where there wasn’t a group motzi but, as the above poster said, people can make their own motzi if they’d like. Its not something I would skip (and its one more honor to give to a friend of family member), but if its not right for your reception, then you should do what works for you.

Just out of curiosity, why are you doing a traditional ceremony but then a secular reception? Just wondering…

Post # 9
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

As PP said, you don’t need to do a kiddush, and individual guests can say their own motzi if they so choose. Nothing says you need to do a group recitation.

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