No chance

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
2482 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeep :  If this board were ONLY composed of women who are waiting to get engaged and women who are planning their wedding, I think it would be a much kinder place, as everyone would be in a similar boat and much more understanding and empathetic.

In actuality, it’s full of people who got engaged and married years ago and are just hanging around. It’s also full of a lot of judgemental, snarky people who love to think they can understand someone’s character and point of view from just one or only a handful of posts on the internet. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s still a good site if you can go into the threads with tough skin and the understanding that some people just delight in being assholes.

Post # 17
5035 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Yeep :  I understand your disappointment.  It is also more difficult when you know your deadline is coming to an end.  It makes any and all significant events/opportunities seem as “this could be it!”.  We are now about to enter holiday season, I wish you the best.  Try to relax and let the moment come when it does.

Post # 19
51 posts
Worker bee

Yeep :  I agree Yeep, it’s difficult when the Boyfriend or Best Friend has the power to decide when to propose or not. Left wondering when your own life is in waiting or limbo. I’m in a similar situation in my 30’s and I think the excitement is being filled now with annoyance. Do you think he has the ring already? Would he take you ring shopping if he doesn’t have it yet an propose by end of year?

Post # 20
215 posts
Helper bee

At least you know it will happen by the end of the year even if it doesn’t happen today 🙂 Enjoy the last day of your trip! But if it doesn’t happen by the end of the year then yah be upset and disappointed!

 I just don’t like seeing the waiting bees get discouraged or upset when they are on a trip and it didn’t happen. 

Post # 22
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I understand your disappointment. You’re allowed. Though I hope it doesn’t tarnish the memories of a great trip to Italy. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I were in Paris for my 40th birthday 3 years ago (it was his gift to me) and I had the tiniest sliver of hope that he might propose to me then (after all, it was Paris!), but we hadn’t really talked about marriage at that point.

I am expecting a proposal by the end of this year (no timeline, I just know he’s been looking at rings and he implied that he will propose this year). You’re right, Bees are on this board because they are wanting and expecting a proposal. Disappointment can happen with expectation. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have determined that we want to be married to each other, that he will be the one to propose, and that it will be a surprise for me. So, I guess I am “waiting.” No drama. Just excitmement. Maybe focus on all the good in your relationship and the fact that you will be engaged by the end of the year.

Post # 23
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Kentwood, MI

Oh bee, I understand your feelings! Trust me, that sounded like a storybook proposal story. I know how you feel. My SO  already has the ring and is working on being financially stable. It’s really hard knowing that it’s coming and the place is perfect and nothing. Don’t worry, he’ll propose when you’re not expecting it at all. Don’t be surprised if you got proposed too when you’re like for example out of the shower. He knows what to do, now just focus on keeping yourself distracted. 🙂

Post # 24
6560 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I understand your disappointment. Realistically, a romantic trip would be the ideal time to propose to someone, especially if one intended to propose by the end of the year. However, men’s brains often work a little differently from women’s brains. He may have felt that a proposal on the trip would be “predictable”. He may think he is surprising you by waiting (though that ship sailed long ago, IMO, if you have an established household together).

And while you didn’t ask about this, so you can entirely disregard this part if you wish, why would you have moved in with your children without a proposal already in place?

Post # 26
611 posts
Busy bee

I am really sorry to hear that you are disappointed with not getting engaged in Italy, it would be such a romantic place for it to happen.

My bf and I went together to get my engagement ring last weekend, and we are going away this weekend on what will be a romantic getaway. My ring won’t be ready until the end of next week. I am grateful that I KNOW I won’t be getting proposed to this weekend because I can just enjoy the getaway for what it is.  If we hadn’t gone ring shopping or if I knew the ring was in his posession, I would be waiting for it all weekend, and if it didn’t come it would be a huge let down.

Since you have talked about it and have a timeline, it will be happening. And I certainly hope that you have gotten to enjoy this trip in large part anywaysmile

Post # 27
120 posts
Blushing bee

Yeep :  I didn’t realize you both had kids. Maybe he wants to do more of a “family” proposal or involve them in some way?

Post # 28
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m sorry! That is disappointing. My stepmom (before she became my stepmom) was really anxious to marry my dad, and they went on a bunch of trips (work-related), but they were in beautiful places like Hawaii, so she was positive he’d propose then. She said she even stopped in front of this little chapel while they were out on a walk in Hawaii, and he looked back and said, “Why’d you stop walking?” and she was so disappointed. She also thought he’d propose every time a major holiday came around. Eventually he took her completely by surprise. Your guy will propose soon, don’t worry! And hopefully it is a wonderful surprise when he does. smile

Post # 29
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020 - Windermere, Cumbria

Yeep, I hope it happens for you soon. Totally get your disappointment.

Post # 30
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

The year is far from over. Don’t sabotage your holiday, or ruin his. I agree with PPs, you need to drop it.

If you are this fixated on it then have an honest conversation.

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