Post # 16
Yeep : If this board were ONLY composed of women who are waiting to get engaged and women who are planning their wedding, I think it would be a much kinder place, as everyone would be in a similar boat and much more understanding and empathetic.
In actuality, it’s full of people who got engaged and married years ago and are just hanging around. It’s also full of a lot of judgemental, snarky people who love to think they can understand someone’s character and point of view from just one or only a handful of posts on the internet. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It’s still a good site if you can go into the threads with tough skin and the understanding that some people just delight in being assholes.
Post # 17
Yeep : I understand your disappointment. It is also more difficult when you know your deadline is coming to an end. It makes any and all significant events/opportunities seem as “this could be it!”. We are now about to enter holiday season, I wish you the best. Try to relax and let the moment come when it does.
Post # 18
I’ve been married and divorced in my 20s , so I’m old enough to know how I feel I just need somewhere to vent once in a while , I feel like as soon as a bee vents she shot down on these boards . A post has been deleted since I wrote that last comment which I thought was way too harsh
Post # 19
Yeep : I agree Yeep, it’s difficult when the Boyfriend or Best Friend has the power to decide when to propose or not. Left wondering when your own life is in waiting or limbo. I’m in a similar situation in my 30’s and I think the excitement is being filled now with annoyance. Do you think he has the ring already? Would he take you ring shopping if he doesn’t have it yet an propose by end of year?
Post # 20
At least you know it will happen by the end of the year even if it doesn’t happen today 🙂 Enjoy the last day of your trip! But if it doesn’t happen by the end of the year then yah be upset and disappointed!
I just don’t like seeing the waiting bees get discouraged or upset when they are on a trip and it didn’t happen.
Post # 21
No he hasn’t got it as far as I’m aware . Ah well bk to reality in less then 24 hours , his children are with us the day we arrive home so I have to snap bk into mum mode , my children come home the day after . i think most people I know want it to happen I’ve been asked numerous times if we were getting engaged in Italy. To say I’m not disappointed would b a lie an it’s gonna b tough not to take it out on so
Post # 22
I understand your disappointment. You’re allowed. Though I hope it doesn’t tarnish the memories of a great trip to Italy. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I were in Paris for my 40th birthday 3 years ago (it was his gift to me) and I had the tiniest sliver of hope that he might propose to me then (after all, it was Paris!), but we hadn’t really talked about marriage at that point.
I am expecting a proposal by the end of this year (no timeline, I just know he’s been looking at rings and he implied that he will propose this year). You’re right, Bees are on this board because they are wanting and expecting a proposal. Disappointment can happen with expectation. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have determined that we want to be married to each other, that he will be the one to propose, and that it will be a surprise for me. So, I guess I am “waiting.” No drama. Just excitmement. Maybe focus on all the good in your relationship and the fact that you will be engaged by the end of the year.
Post # 23
Oh bee, I understand your feelings! Trust me, that sounded like a storybook proposal story. I know how you feel. My SO already has the ring and is working on being financially stable. It’s really hard knowing that it’s coming and the place is perfect and nothing. Don’t worry, he’ll propose when you’re not expecting it at all. Don’t be surprised if you got proposed too when you’re like for example out of the shower. He knows what to do, now just focus on keeping yourself distracted. 🙂
Post # 24
I understand your disappointment. Realistically, a romantic trip would be the ideal time to propose to someone, especially if one intended to propose by the end of the year. However, men’s brains often work a little differently from women’s brains. He may have felt that a proposal on the trip would be “predictable”. He may think he is surprising you by waiting (though that ship sailed long ago, IMO, if you have an established household together).
And while you didn’t ask about this, so you can entirely disregard this part if you wish, why would you have moved in with your children without a proposal already in place?
Post # 25
I’ve always thought ” u really don’t know someone until you have lived with them” , he deffo has some habits 😂 I wanted to make sure we could all live together and gel as a family unit before getting engaged which we have been doing for nearly a year now . I deffo think men think differently to us woman
Post # 26
I am really sorry to hear that you are disappointed with not getting engaged in Italy, it would be such a romantic place for it to happen.
My bf and I went together to get my engagement ring last weekend, and we are going away this weekend on what will be a romantic getaway. My ring won’t be ready until the end of next week. I am grateful that I KNOW I won’t be getting proposed to this weekend because I can just enjoy the getaway for what it is. If we hadn’t gone ring shopping or if I knew the ring was in his posession, I would be waiting for it all weekend, and if it didn’t come it would be a huge let down.
Since you have talked about it and have a timeline, it will be happening. And I certainly hope that you have gotten to enjoy this trip in large part anyway
Post # 27
Yeep : I didn’t realize you both had kids. Maybe he wants to do more of a “family” proposal or involve them in some way?
Post # 28
I’m sorry! That is disappointing. My stepmom (before she became my stepmom) was really anxious to marry my dad, and they went on a bunch of trips (work-related), but they were in beautiful places like Hawaii, so she was positive he’d propose then. She said she even stopped in front of this little chapel while they were out on a walk in Hawaii, and he looked back and said, “Why’d you stop walking?” and she was so disappointed. She also thought he’d propose every time a major holiday came around. Eventually he took her completely by surprise. Your guy will propose soon, don’t worry! And hopefully it is a wonderful surprise when he does.
Post # 29
- Wedding: February 2020 - Windermere, Cumbria
Yeep, I hope it happens for you soon. Totally get your disappointment.
Post # 30
The year is far from over. Don’t sabotage your holiday, or ruin his. I agree with PPs, you need to drop it.
If you are this fixated on it then have an honest conversation.