No chance

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
221 posts
Helper bee

Yeep :  This vacation situation happened to me with an ex (hence ex.) This was years ago but my ex and I had an amazing vacation planed and a month or so before we left for it he was emailing and sending me links to rings, asking what I like and my finger size. (Very specific hints!) We talked about engagement prior to this, but not relating it at all with the trip. He started talking about it all the time and after he sent me links to ring specs I started to get really excited, and would say things like, “This vacation is going to be really special for both of us.” “This is the beginning of our future; I cant wait to spend my life with you..” etc etc.. So, the vacation came and it was great but it came and went with no proposal. I was VERY hurt, but didnt ask him about it for awhile. When I did, his response was that he’s planning something big for the summer, and that he “has the ring put up somewhere” (hidden in the house) so just wait. I waited…and waited. Summer came and went–nothing. Fall came and went..nothing. I knew it was over after that because I had too much resentment and realized I was being lead on, with him having no real intension of a future. (I was right; he lied about everything, this was confirmed and that was that.) Now, I’m not at all implying that this is whats happening to you OP, but the point of the story is to tell you not to wait to long to speak up for yourself and tell your SO how you feel or what you want/need. Resentment takes a toll on you, so unless your SO is doing what my ex did to me (which doesn’t seem to be the case) please try not to let resentment set in because it can be very silent and painful. Try to talk it out or write him a letter about it–any way you feel comfortable. But don’t keep your feelings to yourself. *hugs

Post # 33
34 posts

Yeep :  I definitely understand how you’re feeling and I’m sorry for some of the comments here.  I’ve been on many trips with my boyfriend where I hoped he proposed and EVERYONE asked me when we got back if he proposed.  We travel a fair amount so this has happened more often that not.  I’d like lying if I said I didn’t hope for proposals on those trips, and I think you can still have a fun and memorable trip while still being disappointed he didn’t propose.

But like others have said, hopefully he has something planned before the timeline is up – maybe something more with the family?  My boyfriend has said he doesn’t want to propose on these wonderful trips we take because that would be predictable – which seems silly to me, but whatever.  Hopefully they both come around soon!

Post # 34
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

So sorry. You should have pushed him in that fountain!!! 

Post # 35
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I remember seeing your other post. Sorry it didn’t happen, but your timeline hasn’t passed yet. Sit tight and just wait and see that’s all you can do for right now. I know it sucks!

Post # 37
15 posts

The waiting really does suck, and this trip sounds like it would have been the perfect setting! It’s really hard to stay focused on enjoying a getaway when all you can think about is whether or not he (or she) will propose. I’ve now resorted to asking (in an obviously joking way) before trips, as in “Are you planning to propose to me this weekend? Because if so I need to pack my good underwear and some waterproof mascara” tongue-out 

Even tho I’m joking, and even tho I know she would still say “No I’m not” even if she DID plan to propose, hearing “No, silly” is enough to keep me from getting my hopes up TOO high. At best, I’ll actually be surprised when the proposal does happen, and at worst, she’s true to what she said and no proposal happens. 

And your guy getting down on one knee to play with a fish reminded me of me and my So’s last getaway. We went away for the weekend to a cute little place right on the ocean. Like you, we have kids at home, so getaways are rare, so a little part of me thought MAYBE this would be it? So we’re walking along the beach hand-in-hand and she stops and she hugs me and we stare out at the water for a moment, and then she goes and starts writing something in the sand with her foot. I about passed out because I thought omg this is it! Then I look to see that she’s written our initials together with a heart between them. It was adorable, but not a proposal lol. Moral of the story – eventually it will be a funny memory to look back on, but yeah, in the moment it can feel sooo disappointing! 

Good luck, and I hope it happens for you soon! 

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