Post # 1
How did you guys tell ppl that children were not allowed? Even if they are your cousins children? Were trying to keep guest list low and feel our venue and time of reception will not be appropriate for children.
Post # 3
-Make sure children’s names are not listed on the envelope
-Fill in the number of slots on the RSVP card for people (“2 seats have been reserved in your honor”)
-Call (or have MOB or Maid/Matron of Honor or whatever call) and ask, “do you need a babysitter/babysitting service recommendation for the day of the wedding?” which is pretty much the subtle way of cluing parents in that their children are not invited (definitely should do this if people do the whole cross-out-the-number-on-reply-card-and-write-in-two-extra-places)
-See if someone close to families in question (like mom or Future Mother-In-Law or whatever) can subtly spread the word that it is an adult-only affair
-Putting anything to the effect of “no children allowed” on the invitation
Post # 4
Perfect! Thanks so much….I was wondering what the etiquette was.
Post # 5
I’m doing it several ways. First, we’ve told our parents and everyone that we’ve talked to about the wedding being adults only. I’ve also put it on our wedding website that it’s going to be an “adults only reception” and explained that it was nothing personal and that we hoped no one was offended, then listed why we wanted adults only (open bar). I did also mention that only our 3 nieces (2 jr bm’s and FG) were going to be in attendance so there weren’t any suprises. And when we get our invitations made, we’re going to only address them to those individuals actually invited and then reiterate the “adults only reception” on the invite. Good luck and if you have any drama make sure you stick to your guns!!
Post # 6
I addressed it to the adutls only and I put “Adult Only Reception” on the invitation because with my family it HAD to be done that way.
Post # 7
Im having the same concern. I have 2 flower girls but even they won’t be at the reception for more than the first 30 minutes. Its an evening wedding with open bar and i just don’t want kids running around.
did any of you guys have issues where you have some cousins that are over 21 and some that are under? I kind of only want the over ones there but then think thats so unfair to the younger ones and don’t want them to think i love them less. do i just not invite the older ones? but i really want them there. do i make an acception for the younger cousins because they are my cousins, or will that make my other guests wonder why they couldn’t bring their kids?
Post # 8
@jmbliven: How much younger are the younger cousins? Could you have an age cutoff rather than cousins vs other people’s children? Like, 18 and over, 16 and over?
Post # 9
Hmmm, I’m going to disagree with a PP and say if it’s absolutely no kids, you need to make that clear on the RSVPs. “Due to venue limitations, ceremony and reception will be Adults Only (with the exception of children taking an active role in the wedding). Thank you in advance for your understanding!” or something along those lines. Unless you want to be getting a bunch of invites with the kid’s names written in :-/
Post # 10
@jmbliven: We had an adult only reception and invited the first cousins. The youngest was 13. We just felt it wasn’t right to invite some of the first cousins but not others. We mostly had an adult only reception becuase we didn’t want kids running around our formal event. So obviously this wasn’t an issue since the youngest was 13
Post # 11
Luckily, only one couple we’re inviting has a child and when we address the envelope and invitation, we’re making it clear it’s only the adults invited (also by marking how many seats are reserved and for whom).
Post # 12
It will never be polite to mention who is not invited.
Invite guests that you want to be there. If anyone is so rude as to respond for guests that aren’t invited, you folllow up with them privately.
By writing a blanket “rule” you are assuming that your guests will do the wrong thing. Even if you strongly suspect that they will, it is not polite to publically announce it.
Post # 13
We’ve just been upfront from the engagement party and explained to them when the conversation came up a out the wedding that we were only having children at the ceremony. It wasn’t taken too well from the kids side but the parents seemed happy with it 🙂
Post # 14
There are a lot of kids in my family. I don’t want kids, I want my folks to have a great evening. So, what I did was hired a babysitter, a clown and ordered pizza and had a lot of junk food, video games, board games and cartoons at the evening of my wedding. The kids all had something to do (those that lived in the area) and those that travelled made arrangements for their children. No feelings were hurt and the adults had a great time without their brats!
You may want to send an “informal” note along with your invites (they usually have them available to order) or get business cards (black script print on white cards) that state, “Due to space and budget restrictions, we are requesting that you make arrangements for your children.” Address your envelopes carefully, like Dr. and Mrs. Mike Jones (don’t add family anywhere).
If you are inviting a single friend, write them a handwritten note – “we would love to have you at our wedding, so we are asking you to come alone. Perhaps you will meet someone new!!!” Sit your single friends together on one table and have card games and disposable camera or polaroid on table to break the ice. Fortune cookies for them would also be nice as they can read their fortunes. Get cute, flirtatious ones.