Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor was in a wedding on Friday in a catholic church where the bride told her apparently starting in September the Catholic churches will no longer allow children in the ceremony aka flower girls and ring bearers because they take too long and often cry. I will absolutely be asking father the next time we see him but I am just curious if anyone else has heard of this??
Post # 3
@MarieeToBee: I can’t imagine a sweeping ban by the Catholic church preventing children. Perhaps a specific church has decided this – although it sounds very un-Christian to me.
Post # 4
I’d imagine that would be pretty big news if the whole Catholic church did it.
Post # 5
sounds church specific to me, not for all churches. i think its v unlikely the hwole catholic church would say this
Post # 6
@newname_99: thats why I am asking apparently the bride told her is was a catholic wide rule being imposed but she also felt it was inaccurate but wanted to alter me incase … I just cant imagine the entire catholic church ruling children out of ceremonies!
Post # 7
somebody is VERY misinformed.
Post # 8
@MarieeToBee: I’d say it would be a church rule decided upon by the particular priest there.
I know one of the priests we dealt with leading up to our wedding really stressed thinking long and hard about the inclusion of children because of their capacity to interfere with a wedding, and when it’s a Catholic mass it can be disruptful to the priest or whoever is giving mass. I totally understand their thinking in this regard, especially if you are having a mass. However, if you’re just having a Catholic ceremony I’d say that would be different. Yet again, it would likely be left to the priest to decide. A little child could cry no matter if they’re involved in the wedding or not, and I can’t see them banning all children from the ceremony entirely, so I don’t really see what they would be gaining.
Post # 9
I’m certain this is local to that parish, not institution-wide (or even diocese-wide).
Post # 10
Umm, no. Parishes can make their own rules though about what they allow (the church we got married in gave us paperwork with a bunch of rules, one of which was that flower girls and ring bearers had to be at least 7 years old). My sweet cousins were only 4 and 6, but no one ever asked me how old they were, and I never said, and on the day of the wedding they showed up and did their job perfectly and it didn’t matter at all.
Post # 11
@MarieeToBee: This amazes me because every Catholic Parish I’ve ever gone to has gone out of their way to include Children! Altar Servers are generally about 10 years old (definitely still children), and on specially occasions Children are often asked to follow the priest as he sprinkles Holy Water, or light the advent calendar, etc.
I can understand not wanting children under 4 walking up the aisle as they can be unpredictable in a group of unfamilar faces (running off to say hi, refusing to walk because they’re scared, running into the Sanctuary…), but banning all children seems wrong to me. They’re a vital part of the community!
Post # 12
whoever said the WHOLE CHURCH was banning children in weddings was just silly and I don’t think the “whole church” means what she thinks it means….
it might be an individual parish’s decision, which I guess I can understand. we’re not having littles be a part of the walking down the aisle and standing portion of the ceremony, but three of my little cousins are reading (11 year old twins and a 9 year old). I think people just need to be realistic on how well (or not…) behaved they kidlets are!
Post # 13
Considering that a major point of getting married is procreation, I don’t see the Church backing this up-it’s probably just the one church.
Post # 14
My guess is they aren’t allowed to participate in the wedding ceremony at that particular parish. Some priests aren’t very fond of children in weddings (they can attend) but the disturbance can throw a priest off. Parishes are pretty much allowed to set many of their own rules. Children would still be allowed to attend the wedding.
For example, my parish has a rule about no confetti, balloons, seeds, etc. They also have rules regarding how you can attach floral arrangements to the pews. The previous parish I was considering being married at had a no-decorating policy if I remember correctly. It’s really up to individual parishes. So far, none of the rules bother me. You have to understand, it was probably more than one instance where this caused the priest to make changes. We aren’t having a flower girl/ring bearer so it definitely wouldn’t be a problem for us. They serve no purpose other than to look adorable.