(Closed) No children except those in the wedding party

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m a mom and a bride. The only kids at my wedding are our daughter (flower girl), the other flower girl, and any moms with non-walking babies (breastfed or formula fed). I’m not worried about crying babies, I’m worried about toddlers under my feet while dancing with an open bar. 

If they are paying, then they decide. If you’re paying, then you decide. Simple as that.

Post # 32
13705 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have the right to have the wedding you want, by inviting whomever you want.  But just be aware, that if you ask someone to travel but don’t accomodate their children, there’s a good chance they won’t come.

If you invite some children, and not others, it looks rude.  You need to have a very clear line to fall back on, “We only invited the children of our siblings” or something like that if the issue is pressed,

Post # 33
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had a kid-free wedding. And by kid-free I mean under age 7. My two little cousins were greeters (ages 9 and 11) and my other cousin was a Jr. Bridesmaid (age 10). My husband’s cousin was a Jr. Groomsman (age 8). I made this VERY CLEAR on the invites and the wedding website since my wedding was at the farm of a family friend. The reception was in a 250 year old barn so there was no way that we were allowing small children for obvious liability reasons. And because of our decision, my own Aunt and Uncle did not attend because they could not bring their 10 month old son. As well as my husband’s half sister because she could not bring her 4 year old son. We stuck by our decision and do not regret it.

This is your day to share with your future husband. Don’t let a few sour grapes ruin the bunch for you. Actually after the wedding, both my Uncle and DH’s half sister apologized for over-reacting because they totally understood our reasoning after all was said and done.

Post # 34
190 posts
Blushing bee

IMO – not rude at all! I think it’s kind of entitled of guests to expect a sitter.  Even if they are travelling.  If they were invited to a gala or dinner or whatnot, none of that comes with baby sitting service.  I find all of this kids non-sense is shifting what the purpose of the day is – you and your fiance getting married.  NOT some guest or family member being invited and expecting every detail taken care of for them.  IF they can’t afford it or make, no hard feelings.   If they can’t come because they don’t want to pay for a sitter, so be it.  IMO.  (I’m doing the same thing, PS – I found that when I announced this to the families, I did so with confidence and everyone understood.  I don’t want my wedding to be about youngsters running around, getting cranky, sitting in a corner with an i-pad and keeping their parents busy all night.  Because, let’s be honest, that is exactly what happens with kids at weddings.)

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