Post # 1
I need some advice. To this point everyone knows we do not want to have children at our wedding. The invitation as well as reply card has stated “Adult Reception” to follow.
Here’s the issue. We invited Fiance step-sister, her husband and her adult step-son. We got the response in the mail stating only (we believe) the step son was not attending. So Fiance asked his mother what was going on–Stepsister and husband is planning attending ceremony and dancing–they would not be there for dinner. She also has 2 children 4 & 2. I think she is planning on bringing the kids to the ceremony and possibly reception after the meal. Since we haven’t gotten an actual response from them, we need to ask what is going on.
I have had conversations with my family and two of my cousin’s husbands are staying home as they cannot find a sitter (wedding is July 3rd). I had to explain to and 8 & 6 year old who we are both very close to why they could not come.
What is the best way to address this without bad feelings? We will be seeing them at another family function this weekend. Future Mother-In-Law told Fiance to ask him this weekend, and seems to want to stay out of it.
Post # 3
I think your Fiance should deal with this since it is his step-sister. Is there a way he could casually bring it up? Like saying, “by the way have you found a babysitter? we know someone who might be able to do it …” Or just check in with them and say “sorry step-son can’t come, so I guess it will just be the two of you then?”
Post # 4
I think your fiance should call her and be direct. “Hi step-sis, I need to clarify numbers for the wedding so we can give them to the caterer/venue/whatever.” And then if she says she’s bringing the kids, he’ll need to be prepared to tell her that he’s very sorry but it is an adult reception. I’d also be ready with the number of a reputable baby sitter in the area that could watch the kids.
We’re having a similar dilemma and I’ve found that direct is the way to go — people often don’t get subtlety. Good luck!
Post # 5
I agree, your Fiance should talk to his sister and clarify the response. If they are vague or start talking about bringing their children and not finding a babysitter, then he should say that he’s sorry they won’t be able to make it but he understands and looks forward to sharing pictures with them at the next family function.