Post # 16
Definitely nothing wrong with asking only the older daughter. Not many 14-year-old boys would even be interested in being part of the wedding, and the 1 1/2 year old is really too young to do much of anything. If you were asking the young kids and the older daughter, it would probably be polite to offer some kind of role to the older son in case he felt left out, but when only 1 of the 4 is involved, it’s a non-issue.
Post # 17
Are there additional nieces or nephews on your side or H’s?
If anything I would have had only the three year old as ring bearer or flower girl. I am not a big fan of “junior” bridemaids and groomsmen, but once you asked the 10 year old girl, I really don’t think it’s right to exclude her older brother.
Also, don’t forget that your future niece may have spoken out of turn. She may have just been repeating some speculation. It doesn’t mean that she’ll pressure you. On the other hand, she might have been giving you her mother’s message.
Post # 18
maggieo257 : Ok given the ages of the children, I change my earlier advice; because the younger two are too young, and the 14 year old boy is apparently uninterested. I would now say it’s fine to have the 10 year old only.
But if their mother is trying to force them all in, then it’s better to have no children than all of them. I agree all 4 would be a bit of a circus. And it’s perfectly ok and normal to have no flower girl or ring bearer at all.