(Closed) No Children Invitation Wording

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

There’s lots of older posts on this, try doing a search!

ETA – That sounds kinda b*tchy, I didn’t mean it that way!! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have heard that it’s a “no-no” to put anything on the invitation about the children not being invited (I’m also having an adults-only wedding, and asked the same question.). I have heard proper etiquette is to specifically address the invites to the adults (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Jay and Mary Smith), not anything that says “the Smith Family” or just last names. There are a few bees who have said they put an FAQ section on their wedding websites that addressed the “no children allowed issue”. I’m planning on doing the same.

Post # 5
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You don’t put that on the invites. You address them to the people you are inviting (Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so) and hope people respect you enough to not just write it in. If they write in kids, you’ll have to address them individually.

Post # 6
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I agree with menobride!  We addressed the RSVP cards AND invitation envelopes to only those invited.  In our case, we limited children to first cousins only.  There are 2 couples who are bringing babies (under 6 months old), but they are both travelling from quite a distance and are breastfeeding, so we made exceptions for them.

If you don’t have the budget, only put the names of the adults/older children on the invites, then if people write in other names, call and politely say, “we would love to see Johnny and Susie another time, but unfortunately, our venue has space limits and we have tried to be fair to all those with small children.  We hope that you can still come and enjoy a night out just the two of you!”

Post # 7
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve sent out not 1/8th of my invitations, inner envelope addresses to invitees, plus this on RSVP:

Due to limited seating, in some cases we are unfortunately not able to include all of the members of your family. Invitations are directed to those named on the inner envelope of your invitation. 

 

And am STILL already up 4 seats in non-invited kids but guests assuming their kids are in. I am already ready to give up, the only way I could be clearer would be exceptionally rude.

Post # 8
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If possible, limit the amount of information on the paper invitation itself, forcing people to visit the website, where you can say bluntly that children aren’t invited.

A friend’s website used this wording, ” As our wedding and reception location are not suitable for children, we kindly ask that no one under the age of 21 attend. We are happy to recommend sitters in the area!”

They are inviting kids to the rehersal dinner, though. Onthe “Rehersal Dinner” info, it says, “We’d like to invite everyone to an informal rehearsal dinner at Pete’s Tavern on Friday night from 7pm until midnight.  Unlike our wedding, children are welcome to join.”

Hope that helps!

Post # 9
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I had an 18+ wedding but I only put it on the wedding website and told the parents to tell everyone!

Post # 10
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I went to a wedding this summer that requested no children. The invites were worded from the bride and groom, not the parents. At the bottom of response cards in small print, it stated, “The couple respectfully requests that children not be in attendance”. They did this because the relative’s property that they were getting married on had several ponds and everything was taking place outside. It IS against etiquette however so much of what modern brides do is. I plan on putting the same on our invitations.

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