(Closed) No children invited: What was your age cutoff?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We did the same thing. To many kids in our family and we could simply not afford it.  We only invited people who where over the age of 18 as to not offend anyone.  The kids in my family vary from all ages (big mexican family lol) and it worked out great. 

If an aunt or uncle had to many kids that ranged from all ages, even 18, then I only invited my aunt and uncle. The only children there were mine and my ring bearer. 

No one complained and we had a blast. 

Post # 4
Member
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We cut it off at 13- it was easy for us because all the kids in families were either under or over. We will, however, have our flower girls (4 and 7) and ring bearer (2) at the reception (they’re his only nieces and nephew).

Post # 5
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

The youngest person invited was my 18-year old nephew. 

Post # 6
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We cut ours off at 18, but the only kids would’ve been under 5 anyway.

Post # 8
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

hi there,

we are only having a small wedding and if children were to be invited then it would be about one third children. I dont feel bad about this and i have spoken to the parents invited and they are happy to have a night out without the children. lets face it there often is a bit of drinking and carry on at weddings, somethimes fighting sometimes a bit of dirty dancing, i dont really mind if the children miss out on that. a good compromise is to allow the reception to be open to all (often you dont have to pay for this). this of course would only work for those who dont have to travell.

I agree 18 should be the cutoff.
If you do have some children over 18 as well then perhaps have it a blanket rule of no children so that no one will be offended that some children got to come and others did not. People understand the cost involved and i dont think any reasonable person would ever complain.

all the best with your special day
 

Post # 9
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Early in our planning we had a similar issue, but we decide to allow teens and older (i.e. 13 and older). One of the groomsmen and his wife just had a baby and are coming from far away for the wedding so we decided that if they can find a sitter then great, but we will not make a big deal of it if they need to bring their infant. We also have a friend who has a one and half year old and felt that we’d rather have them bring her then all of them missing our big day. Both the infant and toddler will not cost us additional money so it happened to work out. I know it’s hard to leave children off, especially if they are family (I have several cousins not attending because of this), but ultimately I wanted to keep the event more of an adult vibe.

 

If you are trying to keep costs at a minimum hopefully your family will understand if you choose to not have children under a certain age.

 

Good Luck! Smile

Post # 10
Member
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You inidcated that the children are relatives- I would maybe cut out children in families that are not as close to you. For example, are the kids cousins of yours? Or are they your cousins’ kids? I would keep cousins, but exclude children of cousins. I think you need a different marker than age (under 14, for example), since there isn’t a hard and fast rule you can apply. You definitely want to be able to have a rule to stick to in case the parents of the children you didn’t invite ask!

Post # 12
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yeah I think that weddings can be boring for kids. We hired a few sitters to go to my house and rented movies, made crafts and ordered pizza for the kids, They had a blast.  

My niece said she thought weddings were boring anyways lol She is 10.  

Post # 13
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

We cut it off at legal drinking age in our province – 18.  

Post # 14
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MsBrooklynA:  Nope, our kid rule did not break up any families, but the majority of our guests either have adult children (that may or may not be invited) or very little children. For the over 18 crowd, I sent them their own invitations per etiquette.

I like the 18 and up cut off simply because that seems to be the most common differential in the “real world”.

Post # 16
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh, and just something to keep in mind, I ended up breaking up families and not in the way you think (I think?). We didn’t break up siblings but some people can’t seem to find a sitter so the spouse that knows us better is coming and the one that doesn’t know us as well is staying home with the little kids who can’t come.

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