Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2020 - California
My guy and I discuss whether we’d want children at our future wedding. I say no, he says no but we have family members with many children under 15. Is it tacky to put it on the Save the dates? How do the bees go around doing this without being rude?
Post # 2
Following! Need help on this too – although already sent save the dates with no comment on kids
Post # 3
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
We had no kids at our wedding. We put it on the invitations, but not on the save the dates.
We did, however, contact close family and friends as soon as we had the date details to give them a heads up about the no kids rule.
Post # 4
We had a kid free wedding and included it on the invite only (and our website). We had a handful of friends who traveled from Out of Town who had to bring their kids- and we reached out to them personally and helped organize babysitting at the hotels for them. It worked out really well. Congratulations!
Post # 5
Technically, it’s rude to express anywhere that someone is not invited to an event.
I think in this situation, I’ve seen many people do a couple of things, starting with:
– “We’ve reserved __ seats in your honor” on the invitation and denoting a “2” in the blank space to indicate that it’s just the couple invited to the wedding.
– Additionally, the invites are addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” rather than “The Smith Family.”
– As PP suggested, you could definitely put something on your website saying something like “let us know if we can help organize childcare.”
– Lastly, word of mouth does wonders, especially with family members. Mom/dad/siblings, if asked, can let others know the wedding is child-free.
Post # 6
It shouldn’t be mentioned on the invitation or save the dates at all- invitations are intended to indicate who IS invited to an event, not who is excluded from one. You address the invitation (or save-the-date) to the individuals invited, so “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” rather than “The Smith Family.”
ETA oops just realized I reiterated a lot of what the poster above me said!
Post # 7
When you say your “guy” and you and “future wedding”… are you talking… hypothetical wedding that is not, in fact, currently being planned..?
Or are you in a position of actually having to decide how to handle this now?
Post # 8
rude to say who is not invited
address invitations by name to those who are invited
include the number of seats on rsvp card
use word of mouth to get people used to the idea before invitations are even mailed
avoid any condescending verbiage about parents having a fun night without their children on your website
if anyone changes the number on the invitation or otherwise tells you they are bringing their children, contact them” We are unable to accommodate the children. If this means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding.”
exceptions are usually made for breastfed newborns
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
nataliesawitch : My best advice is put it on the invitation and not save the date. Save the dates are sent very early and do not require that kind of detail. You just needs your names and the date of youe wedding.
Put ‘Adults only reception’ on your invite, or even a little poem “We love how children laugh and play, but our wedding is an adults only day”
You will upset people, some may even refuse to attend and call you selfish, but no matter what you do, you’re going to upset someone. Do what makes you happy or you’ll end up like me with 12 kids under the age of 10 ‘-_-
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
I didn’t put it on my invitations, but I put it in the Q/A section of my wedding website.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2019 - Mountains
We’re only having our nieces and nephews attend (all are under 15). Those STDCs and invites were address to i.e. The Smith Family. All others who have children were addressed to i.e. Mr. & Mrs. Jones.
We are having dinner in a nice place and don’t want to take away from the formal atmosphere.
Post # 12
I agree with above. We addressed the save the date and the invitation only to the couple and then on the RSVP we put that we resereved “2” seats in your honor so they got the hint. No where on our invitations or details cards or websites is it stated that we are not inviting kids.
Post # 13
nataliesawitch : We’re putting it on our invitations. They’ll say something like “Please join us for an adults only reception to celebrate our marriage”. We are having a private ceremony, so the invitations for people invited to the ceremony will have a little card inviting them to the “adults only ceremony”
We also put it on our wedding website under the ceremony and the reception description.
Additionally, any of our guests who have children we told personally that our events are adults only. We haven’t gotten any flack for it, in fact most people are really excited that it will be adults only.
Post # 14
If you don’t put “adults only'” anywhere then I would definitely use “we’ve reserved 2 seats in your honour” on the RSVP card. Don’t rely just on how you address the invitation. Some people assume that their children are extensions of themselves so might not be deterred by “mr and mrs ___”
I had a few people add dates to their RSVP when I addressed the card just to them (who weren’t in relationships). I didn’t mind, but it would have been awkward if I’d had to tell them after they’d RSVPd.
Also, if you have people travelling that have kids I’d make sure they know ASAP – whether on your STD or by word of mouth.
Post # 15
Ours said “Although we love your kids, this is an adult only celebration!” It’s in Vegas so I think most people didn’t want to bring their kids anyways.