(Closed) No Children Weddings?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
7072 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

marylandbee:  We had a child-free wedding. The only “kids” there were my 13 year old sister, and the Round Brilliant & Flower Girl. Their mom was my Maid/Matron of Honor and while they were welcome to stay, she preferred they go home with a sitter and were picked up after formal photos were done. We didn’t have much resistance. We had several guests who couldn’t attend because of it, but that was ok by me. I totally knew going into it that having a no-kids wedding meant some people couldn’t attend. We had friends who came across the country, leaving their 3 kids at home, to attend our wedding. It meant a lot to us.

I love children, but IMO weddings are formal events and not the place for kids. The exception would be something super casual, I think backyard BBQ or church hall reception w/ punch & cake. I’m biased though, as a wedding photographer I can 100% say I have never been to a wedding where kids didn’t get in the way. It’s not even that they’re being bad, but they’re being kids. Honestly, no kid even CARES about being at a wedding – they’re boring to kids. Every wedding with kids, they all find one another and spend the entire reception running rampant and getting in the way.

 

Post # 17
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

marylandbee:  We’re only inviting children of family members, and I fully expect some drama, confusion, or resentment to arise out of it. One of my close friends assumed her child would be invited to my wedding when I told her I’m engaged, and I was a little surprised at the assumption because I was only planning on inviting her and her Darling Husband. She lives very close to her family and they babysit for her every day while she’s at work, so I don’t think it will be a problem for her to find someone to babysit, but I’m prepared for her to be taken aback when she receives her invitation. :\

 

Post # 18
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I know I’ve put it on our website and we will most likely put something on the invites. On the website we said something like “We respectfully request our wedding be an adult-only event. Take a mini vacation from the kids and come celebrate with us!”

Post # 19
Member
1746 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s perfectly fine to have an adults only event.  Your day, your vision.  I also think, however, that if someone declines to attend for that (or any) reason, it shouldn’t be held against them.   You should be able to make the decisions you need to without being made to feel guilty.  So should they.  

Post # 20
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

We have asked of rour wedding and reception to be adults only. CRAZY DRAMA! Family feelings hurt, sisters insisting our wedding isn’t about family, Future Mother-In-Law threatening not to come.At th end of the day I do not regret it. My family has a lot of kids and adding them to the list would add maybe 25-35 kids to a 75 person wedding. We are also paying for a babysitter for immediate family and the bridal party. You can’t please everyone.

Post # 21
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

I had a child-free wedding and feelings were hurt but people get past it eventually. It isn’t a personal thing. I went to a wedding last year and there was an unruly child during the ceremony and the bride stopped MID-VOW, turned around and asked the mother to step out so she could get married. LOL!! Then they restarted the vows at the beginning. Hilarious! Not for the Mom though – she got mad and left.

Post # 22
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

I was married over 37 years ago (formal, evening), and except for two 15 and 17 year-old first cousins, and two flowergirls 7 and 8, there were no guests under 18. It probably would have been 21 +, but I was 21, and I had 20-year old friends there, two 20-year old bridesmaids, and the BM/BIL was 19.

When my daughter married (also formal, evening) we paid 100% and my husband said he wasn’t paying for anyone under 21, except the bride’s honorary little sister (16.5), who was a bridesmaid. There was some grumbling, but nobody offered to pay the full adult rate of $175, that the venue charged for guests 13 and up. The kid’s rate was half-price, so that wasn’t happening.

225 of 250 invited guests attended, on the Sunday night of a summer, holiday weekend. One couple cited childcare issues, despite having received a save the date ten months before. Oh well! One couple (brides uncle/aunt) didn’t bother to even RSVP, because their children/the center of their universe, whom the bride had met only a couple of times, weren’t invited. They didn’t even acknowledge the marriage with a congratulatory e-mail! When the 2nd daughter married, we didn’t even consider inviting them, and they campaigned for an invitation, acting dumbfounded that we wouldn’t invite them. Nope – not happening!

P.S. For the 2nd wedding, the bride’s first cousin wrote an e-mail asking to bring her todddler. Of course, she had a child-free wedding. She was probably shocked when we said we couldn’t accomodate children; and she had used the descriptive phrase “the little monster,” in her e-mail to us.

Post # 23
Bee
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Cottage on the Creek

We put “guests aged 13 and up only please” on the enclosure info card and had no problems. Might not be proper etiquette but it worked 

Post # 24
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I am having a child free wedding as well with the exception of 4 flower girls! My Fiance sister did this and it worked well for her.

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