Post # 1
Because of the size of our family and the amount of kids, and the COST of each plate, we’ve opted to not have any children at our wedding. Personally, our affair will be formal and not a place for children. The only two we plan to have are the flower girl and ringbearer. As an example, I have 26 first cousins on my father’s side alone and I’m one of the younger ones (at 32), so you can imagine almost everyone else has married and multiplied. We just can’t have children where it’s $110 per plate. If there’s anyone else out there planning the same thing (not having children at your wedding), how are you getting the word out to your guests? Would you just offer the information up to people who have children or wait for them to ask? And is that a detail that would be proper in the invitations?
Post # 3
ive seen on invitiations “adult reception to follow” and i thought this was a nice touch. i also really like having on the rsvp cards “we have reserved 2 seats for you”
but even with the obvious youre going to get kiddie request so goodluck!
Post # 4
Ditto eloping. We had NO children and it was AWESOME. except our 2 year old ring bearer.
Just plaster it all over the invite: write the invite to “mr and mrs so and so” not *and family*. On the rsvp card, ask them to check how many peoplare coming, like this:
__/2 are coming or the “we have reserved 2 seats for you: __ RSVP yes __ RSVP no” b/c sometimes the husband can’t make it but the lady wants to.
Be as obvious as possible. you’ll still get phone calls tho. just tell them it’s a very formal event and you can’jt afford to invite everyone’s children due to SIZE of the venue and also cost
Post # 5
In addition, to complicate things more, another issue I have is that my ringbearer has a sibling a bit younger and my flower girl also has a sibling about the same age as her. I’m wondering if because they are each a part of family units if those would be okay exceptions to allow the two siblings of the bridal party members because their two parents would be invited and presumptively at the wedding. What do you think?
Post # 6
Hello… as an “older bride” (!) many of my friends already have children and we just can’t afford to feed them all – and maybe selfish as it is, I want my friends there for me on the day – not running around after little ones – so we have decided on a “close family children” only – this way I get to have my 9 year old bridesmaid and my 2 year old nephew there (who are our only family children anyhow!) I’m sure people will understand – and to be honest won’t there parents enjoy a night off anyhow?!
Post # 7
We are inviting immediate family’s children only. My Fiance has three sisters with children. You have to draw the line somewhere. All of our guests will be from out of town since we do not live in the city we grew up in, so it was a hard decision to make. We had to come to the realization we cannot afford to invite all of our friends and families children, and that some will not be able to make it for that reason.
Post # 8
I agree just plainly pu ton your invitation
adult reception only they will get the picture; some may bring kids anyway because no child care but at least you minimized it
ironic, my cousin’s wedding was adults only and no she is bringing her kid along like hmmmmm
Post # 9
Can you not have the Flower Girl and RB? Because then you’d have NO KIDS and that would be understandable to me as a guest. If I had to leave my kid at home, and then saw kids there, I’d be mad.
That being said, I wanted to have a no kids reception, more so for no interruptions at the ceremony. My mother hated the idea, and so….we have kids. But now she is saying only family, so my friends can’t bring their kids. I feel uncomfortable with drawing the line like that. I feel like it should be no kids or all kids.
FWIW, 25 of our 100 guests are kids now. I still don’t like it, but what can you do. We also talked to our caterer and kids meals are $10. You could look into that? We are also not counting the kids for the open bar. So if it’s a money thing, there are ways to save.
Post # 10
I’m very much in the same situation. We too are having a a late night very fomal wedding. But in telling my aunt about the wedding, she asked how will her grandchildren stay up so late? Ummmmmm….they’re not invited and the fact that she assumes they would be leaves me in shock!
We will have a flower girl and the only children that we will allow attending are those that actually come over from the UK for the wedding. My fiance’s family is from England so if any with kids fly over, then yes, they will be allowed to bring their children. But at $125 per plate, my local CT family & friends will not be allowed to bring their children. It’s a hard thing to do but this is what budgets call for. We are also not allowing a plus 1.
We are DIYing our RSVP cards and it will read:
Mr. John Doe Will Attend Will Not Attend
Mrs. Jane Doe Will Attend Will Not Attend
It will be time consuming to print each card with the guest name and then to double check to make sure it goes in the correct envelope but we hope this will clarify no extras to our guests.
Post # 11
many of our friends assumed no kids were allowed. we’re not even having ring bearers / flower girls. the only kids would have been our immediate nephews and nieces but they’re too young to travel still. we got it out through word of mouth. for some oot guests, where i wasn’t certain they knew, i asked if they’d like me to ask some friends about references for babysitters for their kids.
Post # 12
I am very surprised at a lot of the comments on this post. I was at a family wedding a few weeks ago and I had the “children at weddings” discussion with a lot of family members. They all seem to be on the same page as me. None where offended that they would not be allowed to bring their children, and many considered it as a good chance to have a nice night out without the kids. Be up front with your family and their will be no hurt feelings. I think waiting until the invitation is sent is not a good idea. They may be offended and shocked at that point if they already starting making plans. But you cant please everyone. This is just a little bump in the road, so make a decision you can live with and move on. Good luck
Post # 13
I disagree about people getting annoyed that a Flower Girl and Ring Bearer are there but not their kids. Those two are IN the wedding. It’s different. Most of our family would see it as a “night out without” sort of thing — we have tons of kiddos around too.
I would clearly state on the invite and wedding website “Adult Reception”
If you do have a lot of people coming from Out of Town and they want to travel with their kids, I would see if you could help accommodate some sort of babysitter either at your venue or at the hotels. i’ve seen this done and it works flawlessly.
Post # 14
Isn’t there a children’s plate you could have instead of the $110? Our caterer is preparing chicken fingers and mac & cheese for the kiddies (we’ll have about 24 at the reception) at about $10/head.