(Closed) No close friends to be bridesmaids..what to do?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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pink8190:  Your bridal party does not need to be even. No one cares how many BMs you have or don’t have, but you’re going to buy trouble if you ask people who aren’t close with you because it’s going to result in drama. Just have your sister and let your Fiance have his 3 GMs, I would never ask my husband to have left people out he cared about. FWIW I had 4 and he had 6. 

Post # 3
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

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pink8190:  no one will see you as a loser. There is no need for the amount of groomsman and bridesmaids to be even. Many people have odd numbers, or no wedding party at all. Having one cherished bridesmaid is perfectly acceptable.

Something you could consider, is whether there is a reason you do not have many close friends, and whether there is something that you could change. At any point in your life, there is always opportunity to make new friends. The key is seeking out friendships, and putting in the effort to maintain them. This doesn’t have to be with the intent of recruiting bridesmaids, but a skill for your whole lifetime (Something myself, and most others, are still working on). Talk to people, be friendly, smile, join clubs, activities you’re interested in, sports, comic cons, book readings, fandoms, you name it ๐Ÿ™‚ wishing you the best!

Post # 4
Member
30392 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you don’t have close friends or relatives, don’t ask just anyone. You only have to do a simple search here on the “Bridesmaids” Board, to read dozens of stories from brides who wished they had settled for a lesser number of BM’s.

You will be fine with just your sister.

Post # 5
Member
282 posts
Helper bee

It doesn’t have to be even. Don’t just pick people to keep it even. It’ll just make things harder. Trust! 

Post # 6
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I though I had close friend but since the wedding planning started I realized I really don’t I have kicked everyone out of the wedding. At least you have your sister. Idon’t she sucks lol. Anyway, it’s not about how many people you have it about you marring the love of you life. So I wouldn’t stress about people. People only dissapoint and complicate thing. Be happy and walk down the ile with pride.

Post # 7
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had a maid of honor and my husband had a best man. That was it. In the beginning of planning, I thought I needed a “wedding party” because that is how it is done. I had some friends I considered asking but decided against asking them. There were several reasons for this, will not go into it here. I have nieces I am close to, and thought they would make adorable bridesmaids. Then realized that with them living in another state, planning might not be so easy..

So my teen daughter was my maid of honor, that’s it. And you know what? It made planning the wedding so much easier and less stressful. After my wedding, I read so much here on weddingbee about bridesmaid drama that I was sooo glad that is the route I took.

I think you should talk to your fiance about having only a best man. See how he reacts to this. As others have said, sides do not have to be even, but at least have a conversation.

Frankly, I do not like the distinction between “wedding party” and guests, as if those included in the wedding party are so much more important, and if you are a mere “guest” you are barely there or “left out.”  I also hate how weddings turn into some kind of high school popularity contest.

Post # 8
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

One of my bridesmaids was the wife of the best man. Her and I were chummy at the time. I also used the wife of another groomsman, but I actually considered her a friend.

Post # 9
Member
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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pink8190:  You don’t have to have an even number. Does your Fiance have to have 3 people? Could you each have 1, and his additional 2 guys could be ushers? My brother and SIL didn’t have any wedding party – just the two of them up there. I think partly because she doesn’t have many girlfriends, and partly because they wanted to keep the wedding fairly small and costs down.

Post # 10
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Don’t feel down about it… Bridesmaids can be too much stress any way ๐Ÿ™‚ one maid of honour is lovely and it will be nice to have your sister close to you on your big day … Just think Kate Middleton she had only one grown up maid… Her sister pippa was maid of honour and then she had little ones as bridesmaids! Hey do you know any kids you could ask and have two little flower girls? That would be lovely! Daughters of cousins, nieces, your husband to be …has he got any Nieces? young ones say age 12 or below would be delighted to be asked I am sure ๐Ÿ˜‰ xx

Post # 11
Member
440 posts
Helper bee

I’m really glad you posted this because I’ve been having the same dilemma!  My boyfriend (we’re not engaged yet, but will be soon, he says!) told me this past weekend that his brother is already writing his best man speech, and it made me absolutely panic because I don’t have any super close friends I would want in a wedding party.  I have lots of friends, but no female friends that I feel absolutely need to be by my side.  We haven’t been talking about it too much because I don’t want to plan a wedding before I’m engaged, but if he does really want to have his brother as his best man I would ask my cousin to be my maid of honor, but that’s pretty much it.  We want to have a small, somewhat nontraditional wedding, so I’m hoping he’ll be okay with not having a big wedding party.

Post # 12
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

My Sister in law just had the one Bridesmaid or Best Man, which was her brother’s girlfriend.

No-one really minded – she didn’t look like a loser and it was actually quite nice ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 13
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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starfish0116:  +1 to one Maid/Matron of Honor and best man, and then lots of ushers. Ushers can go down the aisle for the procession, are invited to all the same wedding “events,” and I think are more useful than a groomsman anyway. 

Another idea- does your fiance have any sisters or female family members that he’s close with? I asked my Future Sister-In-Law to be one of my BMs, even though we are not close (yet!). She’ll be my family soon too.

Do you have any really close male friends? Doens’t have to be boys vs. girls up there, you can have men in the bridal party. There are a ton of articles about this on Offbeat Bride and APW.

Post # 14
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee

If there is anyone you want up there with you ,be it a kid (flower gir) or a male friend or relative (bridesman) you could think outside the female friend box. Otherwise, everyone is right about it doesn’ thave to be even. I had one more person on my side than my husband, nobody is couting. I have other friends who only had one attendant each. I wouldn’t think the bride was a loser at all if I only saw one Maid/Matron of Honor up there, I would just think that is how she wants to do things, small and intimate. One of my best friends only had her sister stand up there and she is defintley not a loser! Every wedding should be differnt and tailored to the Bride and Groom. Who cares what anyone thinks! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 15
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

You don’t need to have an even number of bridesmaids as groomsmen? My husband always related better to women than men, so he only had two male friends who were his groomsmen. I had three friends that absolutely needed to stand with me, so I had three. We had the men wait at the front and the ladies walk themselves down the aisle, holding their bouquets. 

Do you have any male friends/relatives who can stand with you? I went to a wedding where there were bridesmen and even one with a groomsmaid! It’s okay to have mixed gender wedding parties. 

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