- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Where to begin? I’m lost.
We went to the beach last week with the ILs. I didn’t have contact with Mother-In-Law this week. Usually we talk once or so during the week but I’ve been in a real tough place lately and was taking some “me” time to hang with friends, reflect, etc. I’m still looking for a job and I recently found out I didn’t get the last job I interviewed for and so I was really down.
Anyway this morning Darling Husband calls Mother-In-Law to ask her if she and Father-In-Law want to go to a movie with us today. She answers and sounds VERY upset and is short with him. She tells him she is doing some school supply shopping for some local school children. He asks if she wants us to help (which we always do every year). She replies that she’s doing it herself because she hasn’t heard from me all week. She then hangs up and Darling Husband is very upset because he has no idea what is going on.
They live close by, so I get in my car and head over there to see what’s up. I ask her if anything’s wrong and she says yes so I ask her if she’d like to talk about it. So we start talking. Apparently, she was hurt I didn’t call her or text her all this week. I asked her why she didn’t call me and she said she was waiting for me to call her.
Then she launches into SIL’s and my relationship. There’s a whole history there but the long and short of it is that everyone wants SIL and I to be close but we’re VERY different and she can be very difficult and high maintance and I’ve made the effort in the past and haven’t felt like she’s responded in kind. So things are akaward.
Mother-In-Law said she felt like things were weird at the beach and she feels like Darling Husband is on the verge of losing his sister if things don’t change between her and I. When I asked why this was, she couldn’t give me much detail, but just said she could see it going that way.
Then she goes on to say that SIL has been crying to her and telling her that I hate her guts and she has no idea why. SIL has never said a WORD to me about this….everything I hear is second or third hand from Mother-In-Law or Darling Husband, which is frustrating.
Then SIL said when she told Darling Husband and I she was pregnant, she didn’t feel like we were excited enough. We congratulated her warmly, said we were excited to be an aunt and uncle, and sent her a nice card with some sweet thoughts and a gift card. And it’s not enough? WTF?
Then Mother-In-Law said she didn’t think I was excited enough about this baby because I didn’t ask the ILs what the baby was going to call them. Um, what? Was that a required question I failed to ask?
Mother-In-Law and I got to a point where we understood each other and I told her if she has an issue with me she needs to come to ME, not Darling Husband.
The question is, I think I need to talk to SIL. What do you Bees think? Should I talk to her? If so, how do I approach her in a way that is constructive and doesn’t seem critical?