Post # 1
Long sigh. I’m talkative today, I know. Spent a few days without internet, so it’s been building up.
Long story short, I had planned a joint bachelor/ette outing for us in Barbados the night before our destination wedding. I had multiple reasons why I thought it would be a good idea to do something more…shall we say…wholesome and at he first, he seemed to be cool with it.
Then last night, he springs on me that instead he wants he and his groomsmen to take a speedboat to St. Lucia and go clubbing. It sounds nice, but I have a laundry list of reasons why I’m not down with it. It’s possible that I’m being a worrywart:
1. speedboating, at night? Is that even safe?
2. so you’re only taking your groomsmen? what about your other male guests? And what about my guyfriends and male relatives who are invited who would not want to be at a “bachelorette” party unless it was truly co-ed (read groom also attends)? What are they gonna do while everyone else is at some sort of outing?
3. You threw up all over the place and stayed sick for hours the last time we went on a boat. Are you willing to risk motion sickness the night before our wedding?
4. Finally, it just feels icky. Why are you playing with so many variables the night before your wedding? and in another country, babe?
What do you think? How would you feel? Would you say something?
Post # 3
@Overjoyed: It’s his night, he can do as he likes
Post # 4
Ok my issue here would be that he’s drinking and partying the night before. The last thing you want is a hungover, or even worse, still drunk groom. That’s like Hangover 2 style!
I’d have no problem with them going 2 or 3 nights before, but not THE night before.
Post # 5
In my opinion, this endeavor carries far too much risk and not nearly enough benefit. I say NO GO to that plan.
Post # 6
Haha!! All I can picture is a few scenes from The Hangover… Oh dear.. I don’t think I would want my Fiance to go out partying the night before..
Post # 7
There’s nothing unsafe about going on a speed boat. I would be more concerned about him going out drinking the night before the wedding, however, I never have or will tell my Fiance what he can and can’t do.
Post # 8
Yeah this is a definite no for me. For one like you said, it’s just the two of them which won’t include any of the other’s that have come all that way to be there for you. Two, alone, in a foreign country, traveling by boat at night? Getting shitfaced most likely? NO THANKS
Post # 9
I would never say my fiance couldn’t go somewhere, but I would definitely be pissed if it meant that he missed anything wedding realted or was hungover for the wedding because of this. Make your concerns known, but he’s a grown man so hopefully he knows better than to show up at the alter puking.
Post # 10
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I’m conflicted, I don’t think night-before bachelor/ette parties are a good idea because when Darling Husband drinks he’s out the entire next day so I think it’s a good idea to keep an eye on him, plus no one wants a nautical DUI the night before their wedding.
BUT It’s his bachelor party so I think he should do as he wants, not have to have family around and *cringe* I’m not a fan of co-ed parties.
Who brought this idea up? Your Fiance or the groomsmen?
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I wouldn’t want him boating at night in a strange place, but the real concern for me is the seasickness. I would totally ask him to reconsider
Post # 12
Darling Husband and his groomsmen went out racing dune buggies for his bachelor party. The last time my brother did that, he ended up with a broken collar bone. But honestly, it didn’t bother me that Darling Husband wanted to do that because I wanted him to have a good time with his friends (and it would be ridiculous for me to go out and do what I want and then try to put restrictions on what he wants to do – I’m not his mom). I trust Darling Husband, he’s responsible, and he came back all in one piece. He didn’t even get any broken bones, so that was a bonus!
I say let your Fiance have his fun.
Post # 13
yesss, The Hangover! lol. It’s playing in my head as I imagine this situation.
Thanks to PP who mentioned there’s nothing unsafe about a speedboat. I wasn’t really sure. I do watersports, small-craft speedboating and jetskiing, but would never dream of doing them without benefit of sunlight. In fairness, he’s thinking of taking a larger craft, and I think he would be hiring a captain, not driving it himself.
He’s a responsible drinker. I don’t have any reason to think he would get wasted.
Post # 14
Taking a boat in the dark in a foreign country while drinking? And then going to a club in a foreign country? The night before getting married? No way. It sounds like he hasn’t really thought it out to me. Call me a party pooper if you want to, but nothing about that sounds like a smart idea.