(Closed) No engagement ring, but still engaged?

posted 11 years ago in Rings
  • poll: For the engaged bees: Do you have an engagement ring?

    Yes. He proposed with a ring.

    Yes. He proposed or we discussed getting married, and then he got me a ring later.

    No. He proposed or we dicussed getting married, decided to get married, never got a ring.

    other, please explain.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    3060 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    He proposed with a ring that he picked out on his own.  We had talked about getting married several times, even going as far as to research potential dates and venues, but I absolutely did not feel engaged until I had the ring on my finger.  Everyone is different though!  I felt like more than a girlfriend, but less than a fiancee.  I guess I needed that physical symbol to make it official.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    He proposed with a little mood ring he got from a vending machine and I thought it was awesome and hilarious. We had discussed getting married so it wasn’t a surprise; I helped pick out and pay for my “real” engagement ring. IMO, if you pick a date and start planning, you are engaged, proposal and/or ring or not.

    Post # 19
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’m in the engaged with no ring crowd. I believe it technically counts as engaged, but I think people have varying levels of comfort in announcing it without a ring (if you have decided that you’ll get rings).

    Post # 20
    Member
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    No ring for me…I don’t even like the word-I seriously get totally ooked out by the word and start to get all figidity.  I don’t know anything about diamonds.  If a friend of mine gets engaged & shows off her “stuff” (thats what I call it)..i just look at it and go “oh nice” no matter what it looks like (big, small, shiny, purple, white, etc.).

    He asked one night, we talked about our future, we agree to be married at some point in Key West and have a few years to prepare.  

     

    Post # 21
    Member
    2159 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Fiance proposed as we were out for a walk one day, very suddenly, and very casually. No ring, no kneeling; he just turned to me and said, “Marry me.” It was perfect.

    I was ringless for about a year and a half, because the month after the proposal I was leaving for a year of grad school in the UK, so a ring wasn’t really on our list of priorities just then. But Fiance asked me to sketch out my ideal e-ring while I was away, and he had my design custom-made with a local jeweller so that I would have a ring on my finger when I got home.

    Apart from a few amorous guys in Europe who were disappointed to find out I was engaged, nobody made a big deal about the fact that I didn’t have a ring. I certainly never felt any less engaged when I didn’t have my ring. But I’ll admit, I really, really love the thing now that I have it.

    Post # 22
    Member
    486 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Our familys would have not taken it as serious without a ring. The first thing his dad said was “Is this for real? There is a ring involved and everything?” That comment is not surprising knowing his dad but you get my point.

    Post # 23
    Member
    2297 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    My wife and I decided not to have engagement rings.  For a whole variety of reasons, we did not want them.  However, given that we are now married, I’m pretty sure our engagement qualifies as “serious.”

    We do have wedding rings.  However, they do not include diamonds.

    Post # 24
    Member
    114 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My FH didn’t have a ring when he proposed. Of course, it was pretty unexpected, and I’m not really a jewelry person. I did get a CZ placeholder ring until we go buy my “real” one. I really don’t care though. I told him I didn’t need a ring, but I will eventually get my diamond.

    Post # 25
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    In my opinion, I think there needs to be a ring, if one or both of you wants there to be one. I don’t think it needs to be a 400 carat platinum monstrosity. But I think the ring is a beautiful symbol of the commitment being made.

    Recently an acquaintance of mine proposed to his girlfriend in a very unromantic way, without a ring. They are planning the wedding, she is trying on dresses, all without a ring. She’s hugely embarassed by this and keeps telling everyone that a ring is coming. He, on the other hand, has no idea she feels this way (they’ve only been together 4 months). He told me that she was perfectly fine with it and they both agreed that the money would be better spent on other things. Their wedding budget is $30,000 taken care of by her parents.

    I think what is important is to be on the same page with your Fiance so neither of you has hurt feelings.

    For me, it was important to have a ring. It didn’t matter if it was $100 or $10,000,000, or 1/100 of a carat or 100 carats. I just find the symbolism of a ring to be beautiful. After 25 years, my mom still wears the ring my dad bought her, as a private in the army. It’s not huge or ridiculously expensive, but it IS a symbol of his love, of their love, and of their commitment.

    I’m a sappy romantic that way. 🙂

    Post # 28
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @ellabee: My parents did not have a ring when they decided to get engaged and they also did not exchange rings when they got married. They will be celebrating 30 years of marriage! 

    Post # 29
    Member
    1373 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We had a discussion a few months before we started telling people we were engaged or planning our wedding about whether I would want him to surprise me with a proposal. My answer was no, and six months later, we decided it was time to get engaged – he called my Dad for “permission” / to give my family a heads up and my Dad was like “um… why are you asking me?”  We bought a ring together a few days later.

    Post # 30
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I totally agree with Miss Tattoo….we have the date as well and have made the commitment to eachother that we are going to get married and the ring is already picked out and I’ve been sized however it’s now up to him to purchase the ring. He doesn’t want me to know when I’m getting it. I don’t believe a ring is necessary to make that vow to eachother.

    *However, I’m going to be one happy lady when I do get mine 🙂 *

    Post # 31
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I didn’t want a ring but we are very much engaged. It is hard to explain to certain people but I really did not want one. I don’t think there is any right way – whatever feels right for you!

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