(Closed) NO excuse for getting guests' names wrong!!!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes. We recently went to a wedding of some very good friends of ours. The invite we got back in February had both our first names spelled wrong.  We mentioned this to the bride and she was mortified. Appraently her mom had done the invites and in her haste had spelled our names in their more traditional forms than how ours are (I’m Kristina, no Ch, and he’s Stephan, not Stefan).

Post # 33
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

While the “etiquette snobs” will tell you thet should never be a mistake, we are all just human. Who knows maybe the bride had someone helping that messed it up. And to be honest, does it really matter:/

Post # 34
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Also, unrelated to my vent, I do see an excuse for getting names wrong. A large number of people in my family are dyslexic, and they spell things wrong all the time. They are very intelligent people, but they literally cannot see their spelling errors.

I find it really frustrating when people are “spelling Nazis” online, saying it’s not so hard to spell things right or use the correct there/their/they’re when I know my own sister struggles with this daily and doesn’t need criticism from other people to enforce it.

That being said, she has me spellcheck all important things (resumes, cover letters), so I’d assume she’ll have me check her wedding invites someday too. But spelling things correctly isn’t a no-brainer for people with learning disabilities or people who speak multiple languages.

Post # 35
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve had people misspell my name on FB…on a comment I posted….with my name right there! lol Some people just don’t think.

Post # 36
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

people spell my first name wrong all the time. they think it’s a nickname for a longer name and it isn’t. it’s my actual name goddammit! i took my DH’s last name and people mispronounce it all the time. they can spell it just fine but have no idea how to pronounce it. it starts with a soft “G” and they always say it with a hard “G”. i’ve also heard other variations that make me wonder how they even came up with that.

Post # 37
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

I got an invitation from someone who I know very well with the complete WRONG name on it, although my FI’s name was correct. So…when we gave them their wedding card, rather than putting the “capman’s”, we put the “crapman’s”. Wondering if they ever noticed…lol.

Post # 38
Member
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MrsRugbee:  I did it. I asked DH and his dad whether an uncle’s name was “mark” or “Marc”. They both said mark. I assumed my fil knew how to spell his brother’s name, but apparently not as they rsvp’d with the Marunderlined. 

It annoys me more at work when people send internal communication via email. I have a fairly common first name with several spelling variations but you have to search me, and then the name gets printed in the “to” box. So when I see the greeting as “hi, alisha/elycia/alleesha” etc I think it’s annoying that getting it correct wasn’t worth a glance half a cm up to confirm spelling. 

Post # 39
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Didn’t know it was such an issue.  I have mine spelled wrong all the time.  Mistakes happen and I’d want someone to forgive me if I made that mistake.  Their world doesn’t revolve around me so it’s understandable that people might mispell it.

Post # 40
Member
7628 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

We misspelled some of the names on our invites and I felt pretty bad when I got the RSVPs back with the proper spelling, however, we are not friends on Facebook so I didn’t really have a way to check. It was the different people and they were all people that FI’s parents invited. Maybe they thought it was rude but I really don’t know how we could have avoided it. We asked them to double check their lists so we’re hoping these people are a little lenient since they know they were invited because of our parents. I made sure to check and double check all the place cards so they are correct. 

 

ETA: after reading through more posts I find it slightly ridiculous that people get upset about their name being misspelled. It’s such a little thing. I have a friend with a very strange foreign last name that I can never remember how to spell. It doesn’t mean I care about her any less.

 

Post # 41
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

LOL. I know that some feel so slighted by getting their named spelled incorrectly, but it’s something I’ve dealt with my whole life. My first name is incredibly uncommon, I’ve never met anyone with the same name. So when someone misspells it, I just brush it off. And just recently we received a wedding invite from very good friends of ours with the last name of my Fiance misspelled. Oh well, it’s not that big of a deal. We’re still friends in the end, although when we sent them an invite this last week I almost thought it would be funny to misspell their last name too.

Post # 42
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have two cousins, Zachary and Erick. I went out of my way to make sure i spelled both names correctly! There is always a way to figure that out! I can’t imagine people who just, “don’t care”! I’m definitely not that way!

Post # 43
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsRugbee:  My DH and I just got a wedding invitation from his own brother and DH’s first name was spelled wrong.  :Facepalm: How stupid could DH’s brother be?!  So rude.

Post # 44
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I misspelled a Marc as Mark. I didn’t even THINK to ask about that, and my fiance didn’t know (his uncle).

I also didn’t indicate someone’s spouse as a “dr.”. We don’t actually know her, only her husband. And when we asked the husband for his address, it’s not like he said “oh, Angela is a doctor!”

Post # 45
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsRugbee:  My name is constantly being mispelt, but the times it really irks me is in e-mail correspondance, when you can clearly see my signature on my e-mail, as well as at the top by my e-mail address. There was one time I Facebook messaged a former school teacher with information about the place I worked at for her daughter’s wedding reception, and she added extra letters to my name, even though it was RIGHT THERE.

It doesn’t so much bother me if I call and make an appointment somewhere and they mispell my name, just when it is there for them to see in the first place.

Post # 46
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

my name is Jacquelyn and it is ALWAYS spelled wrong.  in every email i’ve ever received from my boss, he spells it Jacqueline.  also, i don’t use a nickname ever but soooo many people just call me Jackie cause they feel like it.  i pronounce my name ‘jack-lyn’ so jackie is not shorter!

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