(Closed) No FILS

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Does he have siblings or aunts or uncles you can include? My dad also lost both of his parents before he even met my mom, so they had a similar situation. I know my mom included his two sisters both in the wedding planning, and I think that helped a bit. It’s hard, but it’s doable. 

Post # 4
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Aww… that can’t be easy and I’m sorry that your Fiance lost his parents. 🙁  While you can’t do some of the things that would typically involved parents that are both living, there are some beautiful ways to honor family members who have passed.  Some people do candle lightings, or I’ve seen people place roses on empty chairs for moms who are no longer with them in place of the rose ceremony.  Another bride had the officiant read a favorite poem of her mother’s who had passed away as tribute to her, and it was really moving and a really nice way to include her mom.

As far as your father/daughter dance goes, I would definitely talk to Fiance about how he feels.  I bet he would still want you to share that moment with your dad even though he can’t join in with your mom.  I also kind of feel like that moment is more about the daddy/daughter dance than it is about the groom/mom anyway, but that could just be my particular bias.


Post # 5
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

this is a toughy. My fi lost his mother 2 years ago and planning the wedding he said who is going to the mother/son dance with me. and started crying.

i didnt even know there was such a thing! i had never seen it. I told my mom and she offered to dance with him during that and even found a great song. i love my mom so much and i was extremely happy she offered.

He is happy and is excited but i know it hurts him. he tells me that if his mom was around she would be able to help us with our wedding (my parents are helping us pay for it) and he gets so sad.

I always tell him that she is so proud of him and is up there watching him and for the day of our wedding she will be with him the WHOLE night.

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