Post # 1
- Wedding: February 2014 - Vintage Villas
Okay so I know weddings are not cheap, but i always thought that we would be able to have an elegant wedding that didn’t cost as much as a car… apparently i have been living in an alternate universe. My fiancé and I will be paying for the wedding ourselves, I’m sure our parents will try to contribute as much as they can but I don’t want to depend on anyone to pay for our day. One of my biggest fears is that someone will back out last minute and we’ll end up without something important like the cake, so I’ve always known that the money will be coming out of our pockets, the only problem is that my FH is kinda in-between jobs and I pay most of our bills right now so money is always tight.
To complicate things even more, my other half could actually care less about the whole process; he would be just fine with a quick trip to the courthouse. Unfortunately for him I have been dreaming of this day my whole life, and I would honestly rather not get married than get married at the courthouse. I know that’s a little dramatic but we’re both Catholic and I’ve been dreaming of a big church wedding since I was a kid (which he has graciously agreed to since he loves me so much J ). So when we got engaged I started working on a budget and the more research I do the more freaked out I get, it is absolutely ridiculous how expensive some of this wedding crap is! $40.00 for a garter that my future husband is supposed to basically throw away? Cake cutting fees? I am so completely overwhelmed and a little bit irritated with myself and all the rest of the brides out there who willingly fork over all this cash for just one day. We’re definitely all nuts.
With that being said I still want my dream wedding, I’m just not willing to go into debt for it. So I’m curious how many of you feel the same way? What are you doing about it? Should I give up on my dream or sacrifice something else for our special day?
Speaking of sacrificing something, after many long conversations we have decided (maybe) to move in with my future mother in law for a year in order to save money and have the wedding of my dreams. The only person I’ve ever lived with other than my parents is my FH, so I’m a little nervous about living with his mom. Have any of you done this? If so how did it go? What would you be willing to give up- your independence? Your privacy? Or maybe even a little of your sanity? All in order to have your dream wedding? Or are we making a huge mistake?
Until next time, Happy Planning!
Future Mrs. Cortez
Post # 3
my sister in law and her fiance moved back in with her parents to save money for their wedding. it helped them, i’m sure, but it really strained their relationship. and they stayed living there! the wedding was last August and they are only now moving out!
In My Humble Opinion, it was too long. but they did what they needed to do.
oh, and garters are cheap. don’t pay $40 for one. 🙂
Post # 4
I was the same way! We got engaged and a week later there was a big Bridal show in Houston. I was so overwhelmed!! Add the word “wedding” to anything and they jack up the prices!! I see you’re in Austin? Lucky for you Austin is definitely not short of awesome scenery!! The hill country is gorgeous, that’s why we chose it! Fiance and I are getting married in Dripping Springs on a Friday in February. It’s crazy, if we had chosen a Saturday in March it would have been a whopping $4k more… Just for the venue! So avoiding Saturdays in a not “busy” month will save you a lot! Keep your guest list on the lower side and try your hand at DIYing a lot of stuff.
Ooo also check out Chapel Dulcinea… It’s in Austin, is free, and absolutely gorgeous. However it’s very small.
Post # 5
It is ridiculous how much weddings cost. Research everything over and over to make sure you’re getting the best price, DIY as much as you can [if it’s cheaper in the long run], cut out “extras” you may not need [groom’s cake, garter, huge floral centerpieces, or whatever], set a budget and stick to it. You CAN make it work! It might be a challenge, but it will all come together by the time your big day gets here. Try not to get overwhelmed, which is easier said than done. I literally said “holy s**t” yesterday when I found out how much cakes generally cost. There are always ways to cut costs. If you get overwhelmed by a certain aspect, post on here. Everybody is always really nice and usually they make really great suggestions to help you out.
Post # 6
Prioritize. You say you must have the huge wedding, but what is it about the wedding that you really want as opposed to what you just think would make a nice detail? That’s the first step to saving money.
To be honest, I’ll just send you some happy thoughts because I imagine that moving in with family just to save money for a wedding is going to be tough. It’s one day. I understand people who do it to save up for a house or another lifelong (or otherwise major) investment, but the wedding is just one day. Like a PP mentioned about someone who did it, it will probably strain your relationship. Good luck.
In the meantime, you might want to figure out what you really want. These vendors aren’t preying on you to fork over unreasonable cash. They are providing a service where there’s high demand on only a few days of the year. If you figure out what is most important, maybe you can cut the costs from your budget plan enough to keep that time you’ll be roommates with Future Mother-In-Law to a minimum.
Post # 7
first of all… you’re not alone. soooo many of us deal with this shock. I’m still trying to get both mothers to understand the actual cost of a wedding these days. my mother thought $600 would cover my photographer. uuummmm, no.
our initial wedding budget was going to be about $8-10k. we thought, if we split that three ways, it will be so do-able. wrong! our new budget is about $12-15k. Unfortunately, my FH feels the same as yours. Our biggest issue is that currently, I am unable to save any money. So he is basically going to be paying for the whole thing. We decided several months after our engagement to postpone our wedding a year so we could save. My parents have real issues with helping out financially and it was causing more stress than I could handle.
MOVE IN WITH future Mother-In-Law. It may be awkward at first, but you can use the time to bond with her. Afterall, she will be your “second” mother. Plus, you can bounce ideas off of her when you need a quick opinion. If you’re not exactly on the best terms with her due to personality conflicts, etc… then I would suggest that the three of you sit down before you move in and discuss the situation and maybe even lay some ground rules.
Post # 8
p.s. the first thing I did when I was trying to make sure my budget didn’t get out of control… cut my guest list. keep it as low as you can…. more people means more chairs, tables, drinks, food, needing a larger venue, etc, etc…
and don’t be afraid to ask vendors to cut their costs. they’re running a business. yes they want to make a profit, but they have to get you to sign that contract over their competitor first!
Post # 9
I would just have the wedding that I can afford.That’s the easiest route to take.Especially since your fiance is not really wanting it.I doubt he wants to move home with his mom to save money for something he doesn’t want.Maybe you two could postpone the wedding to have time to save more money.Good luck with whatever you decide.
Post # 10
Pick 3 things that you don’t want to compromise on & go all out. Say yours are pics, food & open bar. Get exactly what you want there. Then, DIY, thrift & rethink. Maybe cupcakes instead of a $750 cake. DIY your invites. Skip favors, photobooth, garter. Limit fresh flowers. Just some ideas, but the point is, you can’t have everything you want on a budget so be willing to compromise on the things that really don’t matter too much.
As for the move; good luck. You’re a better person than me 🙂
Post # 11
I don’t want to say that you Fiance is right by any means, but he is on to something. The best advice I can give is to not fall in to the ‘corporate wedding trap” all you really need to get married is you, your Fiance, some rings, and a preacher. done… okay that part is cheap enough if you can afford that then start adding other things that you can afford. Big church wedding are great, I love them! but do you need decorations on every pew? no do they have to be flowers? no again. Do you have to host all 100million cousins sisters in laws sons? still nope, but you get my drift.
Weddings CAN be affordable, but you have to be realistic. there are some amazing ladies on this site who have pulled off beautiful breath taking weddings for under 5k, heck some under 2k! You can do it, but you have to be creative, you have to be willing to sacrafice the ‘corporate wedding trap’ and don’y be afraid to ask these ladies for advice…
p.s. you can make a garter for about 8… or just go without, do you think anyone would notice? probably not.
Post # 12
- Wedding: February 2014 - Vintage Villas
I want to start by thanking yall for commenting! It’s a relief to know I’m not the only one who is stressed about the money, and you all have such helpful advice. I didn’t go into too much detail in my original post about our finances but I’m basically paying for our entire wedding on my own and because we want to start a family immediately after the wedding I’m trying to be realistic about how much money one day is really worth…
Originally I thought that we could easily pull off the wedding I had pictured in my head for way less than $10,000. I just never realized how much all the little things add up and now my budget is pushing $17,000! We did decide to push the wedding out a few months to help with the finances, so now instead of an April wedding we’re having our wedding in October. I think I’m just having major sticker shock right now… as for the move it was actually my fiancés idea, and although he claims that he doesn’t care where we get married he wants to invite everyone he’s ever known (smh).
I’m pretty crafty and love everything DIY so I’m sure we’ll be able to save money on a lot of stuff, and don’t worry I would never actually pay $40 bucks for a garter, I’m just shocked that someone else would… For now I’m going to try to come up with a battle plan, hopefully we can agree on the most important aspects of the day and focus the $ there
Thanks again! I really appreciate all of your advice and support!
Future Mrs. Cortez
Post # 13
go to micheals with a 40% off coupon u can print off… u can get a basic garter for 2.99-4.99 after coupon. check out local wedding boutiques sale racks— i got a veil for 50% off, paid 38 dollars. target clearance rack– they had wedding invites and bridal shower invites- for 40 invites for my bridal shower for 11.99 total–less then 3 dollars per packet of ten. if u have a bridal show that comes to ur city check that out, make sure u grab all the flyers/business cards ect.. i grabbed a bakery flyer that had a 10% off if u order ur wedding cake and pay for it before a certain date… that saved us 100 dollars. ( of go to costco/sams club by sheet cakes for ur guests and a one or two tier cake to cut)
Post # 14
To the Future Mrs. Cortez, you and I are in the same boat! My fiancÃ© is not employed but on disability. He is unable to pay house hold bills or contribute to our wedding financially. I would also like to start a family after my wedding. I understood this before I started this process. An just like you I thought I could handle it! It is a lot more difficult than I expected. My suggestion is to figure out what’s important to you. Research locations for the best price. Pace yourself with saving money to pay for everything. What I did was pay all of my down payments first. Now I’m in the process of paying one element off at a time. DIY a much as possible. Also if you are not crazy about flowers eliminate them as decoration. I’m saving about $1500 by only have flowers as boutiques and having flower pedals on the table. Try not to go crazy. [Easier said than done. I was crying about this wedding mess just last night 🙂 ] It will get better. And if not just re-group and re- evaluate.
As far as living with your soon to be mother in law…..I personally believe grown women can’t live together. Good Luck.
Post # 15
Man oh man, I’ve had moments where expense anxiety would kick in at the most random moments, like while standing at the copier at work… it’s the worst feeling ever! It’s a little better now after we were able to cut out some unnecessary expenses and enlisted help from gracious friends and family instead. For example, DIY bouquets and arrangments rather than using a florist… little things like that add up.
And I would highly discourage moving in with parents if at all avoidable. Issues will inevitably arise… even over the most trivial things. While you may save some money, the added stress isn’t worth it IMO.
Post # 16
I got married in November and I agree it is very overwhelming how expensive everything is…I wanted the perfect wedding, and I got that! With that being said we have a less than $5,000 wedding that had everything I wanted. Its all about priorities, like a PP said make a list of what is most important to you. DIY DIY DIY!!!! Cut things out that are not necessary…our wedding party had no flowers and no one noticed. My shoes were from Target, so cheap. My garter was $5 at Michaels, but put against a $50 one, no one would notice! Our centerpeices were free because we used wood…Just keep working on researching and you can have what you want! Good luck to you 🙂