Post # 17
I guess it doesn’t help that I’m pretty anti-social as well. It only happens with people I don’t feel “comfortable” around. I used to go out with a girl who I considered my best friend all of the time until she started a bunch of bullshit.
Post # 18
omg. are you my twin? I’m usually 100% fine with having no friends. But with wedding planning, its kind of more in my face, and im like well poo, this sucks.
Post # 19
Hahah. I guess I became fine with it because I’ve had so many people stab me in the back. I can’t handle the drama anymore nor the hurt. I guess I’m one of those vulnerable people. Oh well.
Post # 20
@j_jaye: I have always thought that what everyone else calls ‘friends” are really just acquaintances.
Yes! This for me too! I consider a very small set of people my “friends” and everyone else is an acquaintance from work or school or someone that I used to hang out with and we sometimes catch up.
Post # 21
You are not alone!
A few years ago I moved from Sweden to the States….and had to start my life all over.
It is hard to find new friends when you are over 25!!
Now I have a few good friends and that is totally fine with me.
(And the Beehive here has been a blessing! I love the weddingbee!)
Post # 22
OMG, girls you just put into words the way I feel! I agree with you all that having good friends is better than having many (that are not really good), but when planning a wedding it is just thrown at your face that you just don’t have many!
I don’t think I am anti-social… I think I am just shy… It is hard for me to start conversation and get close to someone…Fiance however has TONS of friends, good ones and more like “acquaintances” but they always call him to hang out etc… In those moments I am jealous… Most of my friends move out after college so they are “spread out”… My best friend that I met after college just moved out… That really depressed me…I felt soooooooooooo alone… I was always a “one-best-friend” person and after she moved I was just thinking: who is going to be my friend now?
Fiance says that the way I am is not good for me. He says I am so much fun but I just don’t open up…It is hard for me! I just don’t know how to interact…It is not that I don’t want to interact…
Do you all want to be friends???? 🙂 🙂
Post # 23
You’re definitely not alone! I went from having hardly any friends in HS to a million in college, to hardly any, now that I’m closer to 30. My DH once said “once your married, your family becomes your social life”. To a degree, I think he makes a valid point. Most of my friends are ‘his’ friends, so I don’t really call them up to hang out on my own. I have 2 close friends who I rarely see. One is married w/ 3 little girls and lives in another state and the other is just a very busy dude (yes, it’s a male bestie).
Post # 24
I have only 1 girlfriend and I’m inviting her and her family. Other than her, I have no other friends. My FI’s oldest niece will be my only bridesmaid and the wedding and reception will be mostly family and his friends and their family. I thought it would be so sad at first because I was afraid everyone will think I’m a loser or somethings wrong with me but his family are pretty much my new friends now and I’m ok with that.
Post # 25
I am really glad to read this post. I was feeling kind of alone. My three sisters and two friends from 20yrs ago are my wedding party gals. Aside from a literal handful of 20yr old high school friends, who I only reconnected with thanks to FB, everyone at our wedding will be family. Its kind of depressing, but then again, I wouldnt really want folks there who I have a totally superficial relationship with.I am not a very sociable person. My boss and I are in the car at least 4 hours a week together and its about 3 hours and 40 minutes of silence. I guess it just is what it is. I guess I should look at quality over quantity.
Post # 26
I think i’d be happy if i had two more friends for my wedding party! LOl
Fiance has 4 groomsmen, two brothers and two best friends. I just have my sister. so even that just seems weird. I’m Like OMG GOTTA FIND FRIENDS IN less than 11 months! haha just kidding.
Thats why i am going to invite three people from work. Two are more like “mom” figures, and listen to me complain about wedding stuff, and the other is more an acquaintance friend, but I’ll be happy to have them there, and be non family people. I just feel friend shorted :/
I can relate, but fiance’s family is MUCH older than mine. Like his cousins are my moms age, so they aren’t really like, my “friends”. More like “his family”
Post # 27
I am the same way and have also worried about this…especially with the upcoming wedding. I am just trying to focus on my family and the few friends I have and making myself realize it is about us and not about how many people. Hope you get to feeling better about this!
Post # 28
I understand totally how you feel. I’m very introvert. I have a few friends from high school who are coming to the wedding. But we really havn’t hung out or done anything together for a long time. I have ar friend I another friend I met at my old job who I still hang out with from time to time. But lately I feel like its just me and Fiance. Hes my best friend, my future husband and future father of my children. We prefeer to hang out at home rather then going out. Do I feel guilty about not hanging out with friends as much yes. But I dont’t miss the drama. I’m the first in my group of high school friends to get married, they are all single ladies, so they wanna go out and party. When I’m just happy to have a glass of wine and watch a movie. Family can be friends too, like my two sisters are.
Post # 29
Opposite situation – I’m an extrovert, my fiance is an introvert … I have a lot of friends (or acquaintences or whatever you want to call them) through the numerous activities and volunteering I’ve done as well as an inability to throw anything away, and a super huge, super close Polish family. He has a very small family, and one friend that is truly “his” friend, the rest are all my friends who have become his friends. I know he feels awkward and a little sad? He mentions it from time to time, when he sees the guest list. Small wedding became out of the question when we allowed my parents to pay for the darn thing, so it feels even more awkward to him now I’m sure when he realizes that less than 1/4 of the wedding guests will be his.
So, from the other side of the coin, I have this to say. I couldn’t care less that he doesn’t come with a large posse. I love him for the himness of him. And the number of friends a person has is utter bullsh1t anyway – we are close to the people we want to be close to – embrace it, embrace your beautiful self.
What is unfortunate is that my fiance’s feelings of inadequacy about the issue have translated to feelings of guilt on my part for wanting to invite all of my friends. I also feel like a bridezilla jerk for not supporting him on this more and keeping the wedding more intimate. Well, intimate wasn’t going to happen, but as soon as it became clear that his great uncle Earl and my second cousin Dale were invited, it became important to me to invite those who I actually care about to be there, thus the huge wedding I swore I would never have that I see before me now. Now that the invitations are out, I can’t help thinking of a remote island, him and me on the sand, no one else around but the JOP and a cabana boy waiting for us to say I DO so he can hand us our pina coladas.
Also, when my weird and inappropriate uncle is pinching my butt on the dance floor, I will be thinking of you and your small wedding and saying, “that girl has it all”. 🙂
Post # 30
awww. ido feel kinda like your fiance. his family isnt big, but being from a slavic family you can probably understand! hes ukrainian. and even tho our wedding will be 50ish people, its mostly his family since mine is small.
dinner wine and a movie at home sounds justlike us!
its so nice to know im not the only one that feels this way!
Post # 31
oh yeah, this is me. Fiance is the social butterfly of the two of us, so i get dragged to hang out with his friends… but they aren’t mine.
i have two friends. one guy and one girl. one of them (the guy) lives in the netherlands, so i only see him once or twice a year.
i take after my mom. her BFF is her sister. and now that my sisters and i are older, she hangs out with us and our friends (well, not me so much because i live three hours away).
the ONLY bad thing about not having many friends is that i will never have a giant suprrise party like they do on television shows.