(Closed) No friends

posted 5 years ago in African-American
Post # 2
28 posts


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soon2bmrscole:  When is your wedding?  Have you thought to join any clubs so that you can get to know other people?

Post # 3
1031 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

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soon2bmrscole:  I understand how you must feel, but I think it’s wonderful that you’re marrying your best friend.  I’m sure as heck glad that I am. 

Post # 4
41 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

Oh hun, I totally undertstand how you feel 🙁 I was in the same boat when I married!

I am just concerned because you say you are not close with your family either, so it almost sounds as if your Fiance is the only person in your life you are close to? Forgive me if I am misreading your post. But that is a very lonely situation, and it sucks enough during wedding planning but when you are married and you need a listening ear besides your new husband, it will suck even more to not have someone you feel you can turn to. 

I obviously don’t know your story or anything about you, but I urge you to build connections with your sisters, cousins, colleagues … anybody! Hell, you can private message me if you like and we can be penpals 🙂 lol but not having a Maid/Matron of Honor (which you can totally have a rocking wedding WITHOUT one!) does not compare to not having a friend in life. We all need friends! 

My closest friends are honestly my sisters. I had besties in University and all, but at the end of the day my family is always there. If it’s possible, I would suggest reaching out to your family and telling them that you want to be closer. Good luck sister! 



Post # 5
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Wedding planning time is a great opportunity to get closer with the family members you have asked to be in your wedding!  Family members can be friends too!

Post # 6
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Granberry Hills

I know how you feel bee! I have my female best friend and my Fiance is my male best friend. The friends I had from high school, minus my best friend, and I aren’t really in contact that much. I only made one good friend in college and she’s married and lives an hour and a half away with her husband and son. I made no friends at all during my time in the military either. I do have a couple of casual friends but they all live in different states, hours away from here. My wedding party is my best friend and my FI’s two sisters. I do LOVE his sisters and am hoping to have an even closer relationship with them now that I am living back in our hometown. I try to not feel too bad and my Fiance doesn’t have any close friends nearby either.

I think it’s hard to make friends when you’re an adult. I am planning on joining a book club, a woman’s group in the church, and a gym. Those are activities that I enjoy and I am hoping that it will help me meet people.

I agree with what others have said about reaching out to family and in not feeling badly about not having a Maid/Matron of Honor. You really don’t need a wedding party and from what I hear, it can be less stressful and less expensive if you don’t have one. I am more concerned that you do not have anyone close to you. I did not have a single friend or person to even casually hang out with for the past 3 years! I was stationed far away from my family and my Fiance and I were long distance. While I was close with members of my family and Fiance, it was extremely lonely and my only friend was my cat. I would not want anyone else to experience what I did. Feel free to PM me and we can talk! I have made friends online through a few different groups. I wish you the best of luck!

Post # 7
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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soon2bmrscole:  I’m sending you a big HUG. Unfortunately, I had a BFF, who turned out to be a ‘GREEN EYED MONSTER”, during my wedding planning journey.  She just was a big azz Debbie Downer.  She sabotage my bridal shower and caused so much unneccessary confusion.  After my wedding; I kick her azz to the curb.  Some ppl are in our lives for a season, don’t worry about having friends; just start making them.  Heck, your future sister in law(s) may turn out to be your BFF.  One of my sister in laws (out of 7) became my bestie.  Stay positive and try to enjoy your wedding planning journey.  Good luck

Post # 8
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My husband to be doesn’t have any friends to speak of, I am inviting family only, I have basically no friends either… But that’s life. I am marrying my best friend, and that’s what counts. 😀

Post # 13
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you are looking for friends join some meetup groups.   I’m in a few social ones with singles and couples,  so it is not just for dating.  Or take a creative type class in the community,  do a social sport.

I feel you too.  As the years go on my old friends fade away and I have fewer and fewer.   I tell my husband sometimes I feel like he is my only friend.   He’s definitely the only one I can count on. 

Post # 14
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Have you tried meetup.com? You meet up with people that share the same interests as you. I had a friend try it a few times to meet new friends…and she said she really enjoyed it. Maybe there’s some local groups (painting, yoga, zumba, sports team) in your area.

Post # 15
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Ceremony and Reception: Historic mansion on the water

I get you completely. My son, FH, mom, and brother are my best friends.  When I was younger I had lots of friends but as I grew up my closest friends could be counted on half on one hand.  Now life has dispersed us in different directions.  I was ready to not have a Bridal Party but three of my work colleagues that I’ve know over years said they wanted to be there for me.  We are friends but outside of work we pretty much go our separate ways to our families.  My family is local but everyone else is spread throughout the country and we keep in contact but I am not cozy, cozy with them.  

It’s hard to not have anyone to really discuss wedding planning with outside of my Mom.  I mean my Bridal Party listens to me but let’s be honest the only one who really cares about your wedding is you.   They’ve been helpful here and there but I don’t talk about the details of my wedding with them at all.  One of the reasons I love WW and other wedding forums is because everyone here understands what the planning is all about and can relate to the issues.  It’s an outlet for me.

I will say that I am a very independent person and don’t cry myself to sleep at night because of the lack of friends.  I guess it is by choice because I don’t really involve myself in activities where I could meet people.  My life has been so bombarded by taking care of  others that there really is no time for “friends” for me but I hope that changes in the near future.  I do want to have those girl events like shopping, trying out new restaurants, spa days, etc.  

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