Post # 1
It is a bit early to start thinking of a bachlorette party, but my Maid/Matron of Honor just recently asked me what I’d want to do, so it’s been on my mind.
I like things to be low key. My ideal bachlorette party would be a sleepover party with the BMs, drinking wine, watching movies, doing nails, etc. My BMs are my only friends…
The problem is this. One Bridesmaid or Best Man is in the US (I’m in Canada) and it looks as though she won’t be back until the weekend of my wedding. So she won’t be there.
Another bridesmaid won’t talk to me and I’m worried she’ll drop out of the wedding. Also, she’s so ‘busy’ that I doubt she’d be able to make it anyway. (She can’t even give me 5 minutes of her time to answer a text message never mind come to a party).
Also, the Bridesmaid or Best Man from above doesn’t get along with my Maid/Matron of Honor. They actually haven’t seen or talked to each other in at least 5 years. They assure me they’re okay with being in the bridal party together, but I don’t know how a sleepover party would work.
So that leaves me with my Maid/Matron of Honor and one other Bridesmaid or Best Man. Some party.
My mom is planning a shower, but my Maid/Matron of Honor said she’d help out. Do you think if I tell my Maid/Matron of Honor that I don’t want a bachlorette party, it would offend her? Like I’m taking away that one ‘planning’ thing she was given?
Post # 3
@MissKit: I felt exactly the same way you do about bachelorette parties, and I told my Maid/Matron of Honor that I really didn’t want a *real* bachelorette party. She understood and said she was kind of expecting that from me. We ended up just going out for mani/pedis, and a nice dinner, nothing crazy. Out of my 6 bridesmaids, only 3 made it (1 was out of town, 1 was my baby sister, and 1 was busy so we supplemented by inviting 2 more girl friends), and it worked out okay in the end!
Post # 4
Maybe you could do a nice spa day with the two BMs that could make it? If you tell the spa ahead of time, many let you bring in champagne or snacks. The three of you could have a big relaxing spa day without any drama. Rent a hotel room that night, and have your sleepover!
Post # 5
@MissKit: I only have 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man and my Maid/Matron of Honor, and we just went out to a few nice dinners and wine bars (no crazy parties) and it was perfect. It gave us a chance to talk and really catch up (they’re in CA, I’m in NC).
Post # 6
I could have written part of that myself. There are no issues in my bridal party at all, but outside of the bridal party, I don’t really have other friends. (How did my life get so sad?!)
My Maid/Matron of Honor and I talked about it and really, a nice dinner out followed by a girls’ night in (wine, cheesy movies, snacks, whatever) sounds perfect. I have some acquaintances I could invite but since they’re not invited to the wedding, I probably just won’t bother. I’m not a club person anyway. Plus my SIL is pregnant, so whatever we do, I want to make sure she is able to come without being uncomfortable.
Truthfully, I find the wild-and-crazy bachelorette parties to be a bit icky. I’ve been to a few, and they didn’t do it for me.
Post # 7
I’m glad to hear I’m not alone! I really have no friends outside the bridal party. My Fiance has friends and they have girlfriends, but I’m very shy and haven’t really talked much with them. So inviting people outside of the bridal party just doesn’t work.
I will suggest something small like dinner, to my Maid/Matron of Honor. That sounds like a nice plan. I like the hotel idea too, but I think I’d feel bad asking her to spend that money. I would pay for some, but I don’t think I could afford all.
Even if its just me and my Maid/Matron of Honor, I guess that’s something. I feel a bit pathetic but what else can I do? If my friend from the US comes in at some point in the summer (Not sure she will), I might just suggest to my Maid/Matron of Honor we do something then. So what if it’s a few months early.
Post # 8
What if you did something just before the wedding? Since you want something so lowkey, maybe the BMs could come in and you could do it 2 nights before?
Post # 9
@Mars62312: That’s a good suggestion. If my Bridesmaid or Best Man is not coming in for the summer, maybe she would come in a few days before the wedding. I didn’t really think of this. Thank you!
Post # 10
Haha we should all get together and have a bachelorette party!