(Closed) No friends = No life?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Do you have any local state parks?  They’re fairly cheap for a year pass, you three could take up hiking.  Baby/toddler carry.  Do a weekly board game night!  Maybe once a week try a new cuisine–like one week make thai food or indian food, etc.  It’s not that expensive to make other types of food–my fiance buys brown rice, lentils, various seasonings, and beans and it’s actually cheaper than most “american” food.

Also, could you get a netflix membership and give up cable?  Have a movie night once a week, pop some popcorn!  Are you close to a community college or university, they usually host different guest speakers and fun events.  For example, my university offers a lot of off broadway shows and comedians and tickets are fairly cheap.

Post # 4
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Check out your local city happenings.  They have a lot of free events that go on throughout the year that can get you out of the house.

Post # 5
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We don’t have kids yet, but our friends either live out of state or have babies.  Plus, we have about $0 after bills.  Plus, he is working all the time so we don’t have a lot of spare time.  It is hard right now, but we like to take walks along the lakes at night, and just talk about light things.  We also take our dog hiking.  I like to have a picnic.  We go “out” for tea. 

It does seem hard to maintain friendships when you don’t have extra money to go spend with them (at least with my younger friends, I always feel weird being like “well, I can’t really spend any money right now…”).

Post # 6
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sadly, the older you get and the more involved life becomes, it is a reality.  What we do is go to church and meet people in our same life stages.  That has always seemed to work.

Or go to a club for new moms.  That’s a great idea!  I have a few friends now in my same age/stage and it’s great.

Don’t give up.  Just keep on pluggin’ away because friends are a gift and there are others who’d love to meet you.

Post # 7
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I second the Netflix thing! My FH and I are completely broke, so we don’t really go out or go on mini-vacations like so many other people we know do. We do enjoy hanging out at home though, and we never run out of new things to watch between the TV shows/documentaries/movies, etc. Also, what about video games? I’m not sure if you are into those, but they are good cheap fun.

Also if you are into reading, libraries usually have a lot of free stuff going on with book clubs and speakers.

OK I’ve really out-nerded myself this time! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

My FI’s family loves to do a game night about once a month. His sister has one daughter and his SIL just had their second girl, we have a 4 month old boy, and his parents and aunt and uncle live out of town so we arrange it whenever we can. We each take turns hosting it and everyone brings their favorite board games to play. It’s fun and free. We also buy a lot of Tony’s pizza and they have free bowling coupons on the back so we just save them up and then a big group of us goes bowling…again for free. I’m not sure what you have where you live but those are a couple things we do here in Missouri.

Post # 11
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@FutureMrs.Taylor: hmm…that makes it a bit more difficult. If I lived closer I would say lets do a girls night the two of us. lol. I live in Springfield though so it would be like a 3 hour drive one way and without money for gas it makes it difficult. I know what you mean though because I don’t have many friends. The only people I really talk to are my FI’s family.

Post # 12
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We recently moved more than 1,000 miles from all of our friends and it’s been tough meeting new people. 

When we do things just the two of us we like to go to the bookstore and read magazines in the cafe.  We also like taking walks around the pond with our dog, playing games (board/card/video), experimenting with new recipes, blogging (that’s an on your own thing for sure), gardening (we recently got a membership at a local garden that sells plants and we grow herbs/veggies), watch game shows and DIY crafts.

You could also try to learn something new like cake decorating, sewing/knitting, scrapbooking, photography/photoshop (I bet your daughter would make a great photo subject!) or a new language.

Post # 13
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t know how old your daughter is but as I started to think of things I did as a child, we did a lot of free things and loved them. Also, my mom made friends with the moms of mine and my brother’s friends. One of the best things we did was story time at the library – it’s free or potentially low cost, and while the kids are in story time (ours included a story and a craft) the moms had adult time to chat. Look into what your local public library offers, I also remember a painting class, author visits and a block party as library events from my childhood. Additionall, look into your local city parks and rec department. In the summer we had weekly performances for free – once during the day with a kids focus and one in the evening for families. Bring a blanket and snacks. In the winter, there is less outdoor stuff but I can think of at least 2 local parks that do Christmas light displays which are free to view and sell hot chocolate for a couple of bucks. Many companies host an open house when they open a new building. I’ve been to the opening of a hospital, bank and prison with my parents. Looking back, these things sound kind of odd but are fun for children and really anything you can do with your daughter at a library has to be good for her. As the holidays approach and Christmas lights come pout, you can take a walk in your neighborhood and look at people’S lights in the evening then come home and drink hot chocolate.

Post # 14
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@FutureMrs.Taylor: It sounds like you are already really busy!  Working and going to school and being a mother is a lot of work. 

It sounds like it might be best for you just to find a hobby that you can enjoy yourself. 

Post # 15
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m kind of in the same situation but i really enjoy just spending time with my family more than anyone.  Future hubby and I play a lot of board games, namely scrabble.  I also read a lot, and try and find games that we can play together that incorporate our 6 year old – like connect 4 and other simple games. 

My “best” friend and I seem to have drifted apart, so I also was hoping to meet other moms who might want to hang out.  I try not to press anything though – I just introduce myself and go on.  From there I try and let the friendship develop on its own, if there will be one.  I’ve met a lot of mom’s at birthday parties and they are all great – so you might try inviting some of your child’s classmates to a party and get to meet their parents.  Church is also a good place to meet people, if that is something you do.  My church has YWA (Young Women’s Association) which is all for young ladies to get together and discuss things.  So that is another option. 

Good luck to you!  Definitely look into finding something that you can do alone – reading, crafts, cooking (I love trying new recipes). 

Post # 16
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

  I know this is a week old but I so wish you lived close to me! Its hard being young, married and a mother of a toddler. Theres hardly anyone that can relate to you and the ones who do don’t ever seem to want to do anything. One of my best friends just had a baby and all she does is stay at home all day and bake. Not me! I want to get out with my kid and enjoy life and DO STUFF! I don’t care what just STUFF!

 My hubby and I want more couple friends. If they have a kid that is a HUGE bonus!!! We just kinda stick with our own family for the time being. We watch movies alot, go to the beach in the summer, take walks, look up any sort of festivals going on in the area, and sometimes browse the mall even when we don’t have the money to shop. I still love looking at things and getting ideas for gifts and people watching.

 Hang in there! I know how lonely it can get!

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