Post # 1
I moved here 3 years ago and started dating Fiance right after. I had a few coworker friends but they mostly moved away or are really promiscuous party girls who don’t like doing anything but go to bars and try to get with guys. When I started dating Fiance NONE of his friends had GF’s and so it was miserable. Now, ALL of them do, some are even getting engaged too, but the thing is- ALL these girls are BFFs, many from before (GF 1 introduced her friend to her boyfriend’s friend, she becomes Girlfriend2, etc.) We just got back from one of their houses and I had to make Fiance leave because I felt SO out of place!!! They were all talking about how they hung out last week. It is easier at bars where everyone’s a little looser but sometimes I just feel lonely. I have only 2 coworkers at my new job- both older married guys- and tried to get involved in volunteering/clubs but haven’t met anyone my age (all older women). I think Indianapolis is a harder place to make friends – at least has been for me – i had NO problem in HS when I moved or in College. We are planning to move to Charlotte after our wedding (which no one knows) so now I’m nervous about making friends there too. UGH. I just wish I could go out to dinner with my girl friends, but they’re all in NJ :'(
</vent> LOL. Anyone else have similar issues?
Post # 3
I hear you kjpugs. It’s definitely hard to make new friends — more so in adult life than during college when everyone was looking to make new friends. Fiance and I moved across the country to California in September. All of our friends are back on the east coast, and it has been really hard for us to make new friends on the west coast. We kinda don’t know where to start. So I don’t have much advice for you, other than to say that there are others out there in the same shoes.
Post # 4
I’m kinda in the same boat… I just moved to Austin 6 months ago and I’ve had a very hard time meeting friends.. all my coworkers are married with children and since I’m ‘barely’ married, we don’t have much in common.. and they don’t have much time to hang out anyways..
It’s especially hard for me because my hubby works nights and weekends.. so when I’m off, he’s working.
The only thing that has kept me sane is that I can hang out with my new in-laws.. his sister and mom are nice and are always happy to have me come over and hang out.
Good luck! If all else fails, you always have the hive!
Post # 5
Aww, I’m sorry! Feeling that way really sucks, I know. I’m in the same boat. Since I left college and moved away from all my friends, I’ve had a really hard time meeting new people. It does feel like a lot of times people already have their groups and it’s hard feeling so out of place. We’re moving too in the fall when my Fiance goes to law school, and we’ll be so far away from everyone. I love my fiance, but sometimes you need a girl’s night, ya know? =)
Feel better, you’re not alone!
Post # 6
I dread dread dread moving in August because I have NO idea how to make friends. I seriously am so, so nervous. All my friends from college moved away from Lexington and I stayed here to be with Mr. KM, so I’m a little lonely now but I have great coworkers. Once I move… I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Post # 7
I feel that way too sometimes and I don’t even have the just-moved excuse! 🙂 My biggest problem is that I am a relationship girl more-so than a friend girl. Since I was 15 I have been single for a grand total of 4 months combined. I’m a serial monogomist, and when I’m with a guy we tend to just hang out alone 90% of our free time.
I came to Columbus for undergrad but I had a bf from HS that was at home and I went home or he came to see me just about every weekend until he moved to be with me my second year. So I honestly never bothered to make many friends in undergrad because between my maxed out course load, my job, and my boyfriend, I had no more time. I kept the same boyfriend into law school and basically it was the same. I was busy, I didn’t have any real drive to make friends… plus I’m really not a partier or drinker which compounds the problem.
When I broke up with my ex in the 2nd year of law school it really hit me. I had collected a small handful of great friends, but all but one were not local. I had no one to hang out with. I tried harder after that but its so hard! Then I started dating Fiance and fell half back into my new pattern (although I’m proud of myself for maintaining better friendships this time). Still though, I have a very small handful of friends and I have no idea how to make more. I’m thinking of volunteering when I have time, or joining an intramural sports league. Also I’ve thought about looking on CL for a book group or a jogging buddy or something.
If I were you I’d be so excited for your move. It is a great opportunity for you and your hub to start fresh! I’d try to go to church (if you’re religious), join a community group, even hang out in starbucks– and tell everyone that you’re new! Hopefully you’ll run into some great people that will introduce you around. Good luck!
Post # 8
I’m with you guys. We are looking forward to moving (and hope we can make it happen!) because Fiance wants a change. ALL his fam and friends are here but he’s ready for a change. I have a few aquaintances in Charlotte (I went to college in NC about 3 hours away) but at least then we’ll be on even playing field- because here, it’s hard that HE knows everyone and I’m just his girl who tags along. I mean, they’re all really nice, I’m sure they don’t really think that, but sometimes I feel invisible! AND I’m usually the really outgoing girl! Liek tonight I was silent most of the time and I wanted to scream at myself, “WHO ARE YOU!?” LOL. Ugh it’s that kind of night, hive. 🙁
Post # 9
I’m with you ladies. I live in my hometown but all of my HS friends have moved away. My FI’s friends are all dating girls that are 8 years older than me and I feel like a lot of my problem is that I’m really easy going and don’t get a lot of the girl drama that a lot of girls face. I get along really well with my FI’s friends, but they’re his friends. It’s so frustrating to live somewhere and feel like there isn’t anyone similar to you there. I’ve found that having a blog and joining online communities have helped a lot but sometimes it really stinks to not have friends.
Post # 10
I know how you feel, I have a great group of girlfriends at home but when we moved across the world to Scotland for a year I was lost! By the time we left I would have said I had 3 girlfriends – 2 of whom I met through different jobs, and 1 who was the friend of one of the first. It takes a lot more effort once you’re not at school anymore and don’t just want to sit around drinking with your friends, but it’s worth it! Some people just don’t have room for more friends (which is totally fine), so I think the trick is to find people who have the room, or who you click with so well, they’ll make room. Good luck!
Post # 11
I hear ya. When I was living in CA with my Boyfriend or Best Friend we didn’t have any friends either. It was hard meeting people bc I didn’t have a job out there and Boyfriend or Best Friend worked as field service so he had no “office” friends. Where we lived, hardly anyone spoke english.
But I have a hard time making friends to start with. It’s because when I first meet someone I am painfully shy which makes most people think I’m a snob. But once I get comfortable around you, you will wish that I was still shy
Anyway that you can Skype with your friends back in NJ once a week or every other weekend? That way at least you have some type of sanity.
Post # 12
Hey KJ – I have a feeling it’ll be easier for you in Charlotte. I have a ton of friends that moved down there after college and I actually had an interview there a few years ago (didn’t get it…boooo!) It’s a very young town, and while that consists of plenty of the single bar-hoppers, I know there are lots of young couples too, that have moved there from other places and are all about making new friends!
Post # 13
Kjpugs, come to Charlotte and I’ll be your friend 🙂 I’ve been living about half an hour north of Charlotte for about two years now and all the girls I meet either are single and only want to party or are married and are totally into just their husbands. I know lots of great places to go to dinner–I just need a girl friend to go with!
Post # 14
I hear ya. When I moved to FL with my fi for the military, I left all my friends in IL…and lets say none of them care to keep contact with me or even take time out of their busy schedule to see me when I am up there for most of December. 🙁
And college? *sighs* I have a choice between high schoolers who are dual enrolling or older married woman taken classes to improve their career or self. I really haven’t met someone my age that doesn’t have a whole crap load of best friends because they grew up here. Or I make the “class” friend who doesn’t want to do anything outside of class, but is my bff during class. lol Work–would be great but I work for a school photography company so I travel and I seldom work with our other photographers. It doesn’t help that I am the only one from the east coast and my office/team is based in Orlando 🙁
I guess I am a lot like corgi, but now I have become bored with couple activities and when he gets deployed, I would really like a friend around. I been rely on my in laws and being SUPER busy.
Maybe try scrapbooking class, cooking class, or yoga? …might be able to make new friends atleast during that activity
Post # 15
I’m already looking for classes to take (photoshop and cake decorating!) when we move… trying to be proactive 🙂 Thanks for the advice guys. Glad I’m not alone.
Post # 16
Well ive lived here in Atlanta most of my life.. in the recent last 6-8 moths I have been slowly detaching myself from my so called friends here. I found that most of them were my friends when it was convienient for them .. so I actually spend time with my family or alone. I have slowly started devloping friends with my BFs friends wives(he is the only single one out of his friends) and its very frustrating for me since they all live in Pittsburgh and Im here in Atlanta.. Im in the same boat as you.. I dont know what to do.