(Closed) No Friends? :(

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know how you feel.  I haven’t really had much luck finding friends here.  It’s definetly hard when you aren’t working.  I have a few class friends but we never really did much after school.  My husband has a lot of coworkers with wives but a lot of them are closer because they work together or live near eachother so they see eachother a lot more so it’s sort of strange.

Post # 18
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree it’s much harder to meet friends as an adult than in college (where you’re all thrown together).  Groups vary so much by city, but I’ve had good luck with Meet In (http://www.meetin.org) and MeetUp (http://www.meetup.com)  The first is a general social go-out-and-do-things site (NOT a dating site) and the second is a giant umbrella site that has specific interest groups that you can join, everything from french language to cooking to soccer to movies.

Other ideas:  alumni group from your college; local activity groups (hiking club/intramural sports); book club; specific-to-you groups (ie, Returned Peace Corps Volunteer group), volunteering, local fun classes (we have a ‘Colorado Free University’ here that offers fun classes in tons of stuff, usually one evening up to 4 weeks…)

Good luck!

Post # 19
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

KJ — as others have said, I also know a few people who moved to the Charlotte area after college, and they’ve made friends pretty easily.

I have a similar problem. I was still in school when my friends graduated, so I don’t have anyone left around here. And worse yet, everyone has grown apart with our own lives in different states and all. My high school friends live only about an hour away, but they sort of kept up with each other while I came here, so when we all get together, I often feel like the odd person out. All my FI’s friends are single, or I don’t like the girls they hang out with (super athletic/competetive, kind of immature).

I have just applied to grad schools out of state for next fall, so I am really hoping that I’ll be able to bond with members of my cohort!

Post # 20
372 posts
Helper bee

I’m in the same boat!  TheRen – we should get together sometime, at the very least we can chat wedding!

Post # 21
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I hear ya, I moved 4 hours away from my nearest friend/relative about 6 months ago and am self-employed. I know NO ONE here. I keep myself pretty busy with everyday life so it doesn’t bother me too much, though.

Post # 22
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

oo oo – i hear ya!

We live 3,000 miles from family and friends. we’ve made friends with one couple (the guy works with FI) but it just makes me feel pretty lame when I’m sitting around. Try to see if anyone in your area wants to do a bee meet up… they can be so fun!

Post # 23
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I feel like that too…I went to college in Ohio and made the best friends of my life. Then i moved to a different state after college because thats where my parents lived and i wasnt really sure what to do with my life. I made a lot of close friends at the beginning…but one of them went back to school and had no time to hang so we grew apart…another one moved…and another one turned out to just not be as good of a friend that i thought she was…we had some misunderstandings and are now just acquaintences. I just miss those friends that you can say anything to and get along no matter what…during good times and bad times. Pretty much Teddy and I hang out most of the time…he seems to have had the same problems with his friends also. Some moved and some are really just not that great of people. So yeah Im kind of in the same boat. Im not sure what the solution is…but if you figure it out please let me know! I have always had tons of girlfriends before i moved here…in high school and especially in college. So its hard to go from many to almost none!

Post # 24
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

I wish we were moving to Charlotte too…cause then fo realzzz we’d be hanging out 😉

But hey, you know how I feel about this too; no friends here for Miss Buttons! Although Mr. B doesn’t have any friends here in Blacksburg either…its amazing that we aren’t sick of each other yet!

I <3 you!

Post # 25
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I totally know how you feel! I lef the UK for Oz 11 months ago and it took me a long time to fit in. Luckily my Fiance has lots of friends and they all have GF’s these girls have been really great, accepting me in to their clique and they now call me a friend rather than Mr B.Tamaras Girlfriend.

Like you I work in an IT company where the vast majority of staff are male, there are two women here, one 30 years older than me and one 18yr olg girl, who although is lovely, is quite young for her age.

I’ve recently started an exercise program and have been getting friendly with a girls who moved from US to Oz 3 months ago. I think it’ll be good to have a friend of my own, rather than FI’s friend girlfriends.

I def agree with the advice above, you need to put yourself out there, join a club, maybe do some volunteering… put yourself out there. Don’t be scared to strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know.


Post # 26
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I understand! I think as you get older and your life changes, it is harder to make friends, or even keep the same ones. I understand how you feel though. It is really tough! Good luck meeting NEW friends again when you move! 🙂

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