(Closed) No gift from groom

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t assume that your groom didn’t get you anything, and don’t withhold those pictures from him. You’re gonna make yourself miserable all night and day tomorrow if you focus on what you didn’t get from him. I too would feel let down, but I would still be a big person and give my groom the gif I got for him.

Today is my b-day and I didn’t get anything from my Fiance except a happy birthday and a kiss. Can I assume he won’t surprise me later? I shouldn’t. Have I let them prevent me from making him a wonderful “welcome home from your bachelor party” meal tonight? No.

Best thing you can do is talk to him if this bothers you. That s a tough love language to have! By the way, congrats on your marriage tomorow!!

Post # 5
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I read the first paragraph and thought, “Hm, did she even talk to him about this or just assume that he knew?”

And then I read the rest of it and got a little disappointed. I agree that you shouldn’t discount him completely, but if he’s got a history of this…mrgh. It’s disappointing that he KNOWS this about you and doesn’t seem to be making an effort. Are you hard to shop for? I’m really hard to shop for–I couldn’t tell you what I’d want at any given point, and my Fiance really struggles to choose gifts for me–but I’m an amazing gift giver.

I know, I’m a tricky love language person. I LOVE putting the effort into other people’s gifts and secretly would feel SO flattered if others did that for me, but the only person who really puts that thought into gifts for me is my mom (who is an amazing woman). Maybe I’ll just have to lower the expectations…
I don’t know anything about the love languages (not my thing), but I’m the same way. I’d love it if someone put the same amount of effort into gifts for me, but it just isn’t going to happen. I don’t get disappointed over it, though, I just try to be grateful that I got something. Before I met FI/his family, I didn’t get presents from anyone (except clothes from my grandma) after I hit my teens.

Post # 6
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oh you should give him the book! Love Languages are also about how you express love, not just recieve it. He will enjoy the gift and you will enjoy giving it to him!

In my experience with the love languages, just knowing the other persons language because you read the book/talked about it in a class doesn’t really translate to everyday life. Especially because it sounds like the gifts language isn’t a big one for your Fiance. My husband totally doesn’t get my language (words of affirmation) and has to work on it. Sometimes I need to remind him or give him explicit examples of when he gets it right (“I felt so good when you wrote that note and left it for me before you left for work”), etc. Dont lower your expectations- he can learn your language! In the future, don’t be afraid to tell him “I would feel loved if you bought me something for my birthday/this holiday.” It doesn’t seem romantic, but it will help him get into the groove of a different love language and he’ll get it more independently over time.

Also, have a fabulous wedding day tomorrow!! 

P.S. I’m also pretty bad with his language, but getting better. We’ve been married for almost 3 years.  I had to “schedule” acts of love for a while (like doing the dishes when I’d rather chat with guests) until I started to get the hang of it. Now I can be like, “oh yeah! I should make him lunch instead of send him a random e-card.”

Post # 7
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My husband and I got married last weekend. I got him a grooms gift but he didn’t get me anything…. not a big deal. I wasn’t expecting anything anyways but I wanted to give him a gift. Its not the end of the world. Its your choice to give your groom a gift. You shouldn’t expect one in return. Thats not why you are getting married right? Just enjoy the day and dont worry about something that is sooooo really minor. Congratulations on your marriage tomorrow!!! 😀

Post # 8
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

why is his letter not enough? He’s probably thinking “oh hell this letter- I thought the hell out of it… she’s going to love the shit out of this letter” so maybe you’re seeing it wrong? Perhaps he’s thinking this letter IS the gift?…

Post # 9
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I really would have liked to have gotten Darling Husband a nice watch for a groom’s gift, but I know him well enough to know that he wouldn’t get me anything so instead I got him some really small things (cufflinks, a keychain and a personalized handkerchief).  That way I still got to give him gifts (I’m a gifter too) and I wasn’t really disappointed when he got me nothing 🙂  You are lucky to be getting a letter, I would have been thrilled with a simple card 🙂  Congratulations and enjoy your day!

Post # 10
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Before I came to weddingbee, I would not have realized the couple gives each other gifts the day of the wedding. I would have thought that the marriage was it…but then I usually skimp on getting Fh gifts because I can’t think of the perfect thing, and get hom something later when the stressful bits are over.

Post # 11
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m giving him the gift of a gold lined vagina that ends in a rainbow of sunshine and happiness. He’s giving me a huge and talented dong. 

 

I’m kidding, kind of. I really didn’t know that the bride and groom gave each other gifts before I came to the Bee.

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