(Closed) No gift from the Grooms brother??? Really????

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 4
6 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow, you definitely have the right to be at least a little hurt! But, I will say, for my fiance’s brother’s wedding which was last October, we ended up being kind of lame in the gift department. We were in the process of moving (literally loaded up a 22ft truck & moved across the country the day after their wedding), leaving our jobs behind too so we were strapped for cash and our bridal party attire had already set us back. We had looked for a gift for a while but not settled on anything, and then were scrambling the night before or morning of the wedding. We still gave them a small gift at the wedding (a book we thought they’d like) and wrote in the card that my fiance wanted to do a painting for them for when they moved into their new place (which they still haven’t done yet). He is an awesome artist but couldn’t get it done before their wedding because all his art stuff was packed for the move. He has been quietly working on their painting the last few months and we’re planning to present it to them with another wedding card whenever it’s done, but I’m SURE they’re no longer expecting to get anything from us because it’s been SO long, so it will be a total surprise! Traditional wedding ettiquette actually says you have up until a year after the wedding to send a gift, so I’m holding onto that for comfort, but really who waits that long to send a gift, it’s ridiculous! I’m sure when they got their present from us they were like, “Really? A book?” but oh well, I’m sure when we finally *do* get their gift to them it will be a surprise & any hurt feelings will be smoothed over. I think when you send out the rest of your thank you cards you should just send them one that says thanks for attending (or for being a part of your bridal party if that’s the case) and that it meant so much to the two of you to have them there, etc. Then you look good & they will probably feel bad about being so lame and not doing more for his only brother. 🙂

Post # 5
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We did not get a gift or a card from the maid of honor (my sister), any of my bridesmaids or my now sister in law (another bridesmaid).  AND… 

When my sister got married I gave her $500.

When my now sister in law got married we gave her $150. 

My husband and I were each in their weddings.  Guess thats just how it goes.

I get being annoyed by that.  I am surprised you confronted your brother in law about that…  What a lame excuse.


Post # 6
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would be upset.  I did not get gifts for either of my sister’s weddings, oh wait mini salt and peppar shakers for one sis, as being Maid/Matron of Honor I threw 4 parties for each sister.  And throwing a party is way more money than a knife set!

Kill them with kindness.  When it is their turn go out of your way to make sure they know and see that you are being helpful and giving them a gift.  No need to be bitter Betty since they already are!

Post # 7
722 posts
Busy bee

You really shouldn’t ask some one why they didn’t get you a gift.

My sister did not get us a gift. Nor did my husband’s best friend, whose child is our godson and we reglarly buy presents.  Yes, I was a little surprised. But they are all the sort of people who do things like that and aren’t particularly reliable. Making a big deal about it won’t change the way they are.

Post # 8
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That is SO tacky. I would be hurt if we didn’t receive anything. When FI’s brother got married we were still in school, but we still got them a $300 gift (after we’d spent money on plane tickets as well).

Post # 9
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That is tacky.. So if him and his gf of 11 years ever get married you know what to do 😉

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