(Closed) No gift, No card,..what’s the etiquette?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Clark Gardens

Generally speaking, your “thank you” for attending is the reception. Thank you cards are for gifts.

Post # 18
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would send a thank you card and tell them you were glad to share the day with them.

Post # 19
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I sent them anyway (without gift) …they came from far away. So naturally, it’s nice to do.

 

Post # 20
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The vast majority of our guests traveled a great distance to get to our wedding. Most, but not all, did get us a gift. We are the type of people that are very appreciative of the ones that did spend a great deal of time and money to attend our wedding. To expect a gift from them would be selfish. Everyone will be getting a thank you card regardless.

Post # 21
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think I have ever received a thank you unless I sent a gift, and that never bothered me.  There have been times when I haven’t sent gifts until 6 months or so after the wedding (which etiquette says is acceptable, though I agree that it’s not preferable) and then I always get a card. Personally, I don’t expect to be thanked just for coming, but I think it’s really nice for those of you that are. 

Also, I know someone who sent thank you notes saying things like “thank you so much for attending!  I just wanted to make sure your gift didn’t get lost in the mail because I never received anything.”  I think that is incredibly rude.  I would rather not get a thank you then receive a thank you like that.

Post # 22
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

No gift/card = no thank you note necessary. We thanked all our guests for coming individually at cocktail hour, and in a toast during the reception. I didn’t see the need to send out a card on top of that just for attending.

Post # 23
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@krobbie:  If guests are clueless enough ettiquette-wise to attend a wedding without sending a gift or card, I doubt that they are going to read into a card thanking them for coming. 

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