(Closed) No Gift or Card Given At Wedding

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think it’s a regional/cultural thing, but no one actually brings gifts or cards to weddings I attend and take part in. You mail a gift to the parents of the bride either before or after the wedding, or just purchase off the registry and have it shipped to the designated address. Someone brought a gift to my sisters wedding and it was big and bulky and annoying for them to cart around, I think her wedding planner dealt with it, but seriously – they were leaving for their honeymoon the next day and didn’t know what to do with it.

Also, if I buy a shower gift I don’t also buy a wedding gift unless I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man. That’s my rule and I don’t make exceptions as it can get just ridiculous and they don’t need several gifts from me.

Post # 48
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is a sore topic for me.  I think it is in poor and thoughtless taste to not bring a card. You don’t have to buy an expensive gift but you should always be thoughtful enough to bring something.  Although, I do think it’s ok to send a gift shortly after the wedding if time or money doesn’t allow beforehand.  Otherwise, there’s no excuse for forgetting or plain just not bringing one!  Your presence is not a gift to someone….that just doesn’t fly with me.

Post # 49
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

View original reply
@bridetobe92:  I am with you bridetobe. . .No gift just doesn’t fly with me either. . .it is just thoughtless and rude.  I had one very close friend who didn’t bring anything.  I seriously thought his card had to be lost or something.  Worried that his checking info could be stolen (am not kidding, really thought it was stolen), I just came out and said, “Hey, did you put a card on the gift table?”  And he said,  “No, I know it sounds lame but did not bring anything.  You are lucky I even made it there on time.”  Really, I should be so lucky that you came to my wedding.  He is done. . .no more friendship. . .I think that just plain stinks and frankly, I don’t want people like that in my life.

Post # 50
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I can’t say I would end a friendship over it…a bit dramatic for me ..but to each his own…I’m inviting people I or my Fiance want to spend time with..yes, getting gifts is great, but it’s not a deal breaker

Post # 51
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think you missing the point. . .it is sooooo NOT about the actual gift.  It is the thought.  And I don’t think it’s dramatic.  If you go to a very good friend’s wedding and intentionally don’t even bring a card of well wishes, that is a “character” issue.  I don’t like people like this and don’t care to be friends with them anymore.  I went to school with this man and and can tell you his mother would have been mortified.  And I will teach my daughters to be thoughtful and kind and do the right thing.

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