(Closed) No Gift Registry, How To Politely Ask For Money?

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
2637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

you don’t. The best you can do is to spread the word through your close friends/family.

Post # 5
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee

Honeymoon registry. Spread the word.  Just know your circle and do what you feel is most polite.  In NYC, I have never brought a physical gift to a wedding.  Always cash.

Post # 6
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We have a *gasp* sort of cash registry plus a bed bath and beyond registry. The feedback has been all positive. Frankly, they were going to give checks, this makes it easier. But, we’re not traditional folks and our families are from old school, so it’s working for us. I just don’t see why someone would want to spend money on a gift we won’t use. That’s such a waste. But, I understand some people don’t consider cash registries tasteful.

Post # 7
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2012

use http://www.depositagift. it’s a cash registry done in a really classy way. still looks/works like a regular registry but allows you to list out what you want money for and allow people to contribute. ours is sort of a hybrid honeymoon/furniture registry and it is working great. people get it that we could never register for these things in a store and it makes it easier for everyone.

Post # 8
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2009

You could try Traveler’s Joy. We used it for our honeymoon expenses and they simply send you the money when you want it, in check form. People can go on and spend what they want on some part of your honeymoon like a dinner or an adventure or drinks or whatever…and then it comes to you as cash money!

I’m not sure if that would be deceptive or not, depending on whether or not you’re going on a honeymoon…

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ok, we are using this site http://www.thehoneymoon.com/partners/home/balboa (i dont know if there are others like this out there, I work at a travel agency and they set this up) for a Honeymoon registry. Heres how it works, you put in were you are going to your honeymoon, it will then automatically put in activities to do at that destination (like dinner on the beach or horseback riding) you can change anything thats on there, so if you dont like horseback riding and you dont think you are going to be doing that on your honeymoon, delete it and put something else that you may actually do… There is even an option to put in ‘Spending money’ your whole registry can be just that, for whatever amount you want… You give each thing a $ amount and how many and put it in or on your invitations like you would a normal registry. Your guests can go on the site and use a CC to contribute money to your honeymoon activities. Then the week before your wedding you get a check of everything that was contibuted to your honeymoon registry, they keep it open for 3 months after your wedding date and send a secound check of anything else that was contributed to your honeymoon registry… So you are saying its for your honeymoon but you dont have to necessarily do these things on your honeymoon. (but FYI: if you put ‘Romantic Dinner on the Beach’ and someone contribute to that, when you get back they may ask you “How was your dinner on the beach we got you?” so if you dont actually do it, you might be in a little of a strange position trying to explain…) Hope that helps ya, FYI the site goes through everything step by step, it is really easy to set up.

Post # 10
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We aren’t having a registry, but we’re letting people know through word-of-mouth (rather than directly asking for money). I’ve lived on my own for years, and I’ve been living with Fiance for a while now. We already have pretty much everything we need.

I even tried setting up a registry, but I could only think of five things we need/want.

Plus, we are renting right now, and it was a nightmare getting the stuff we have NOW here. I really don’t want to have any more stuff to move lol. 

I’m sure some people will give gifts anyway, but I’m sure they will be heartfelt and welcome. 🙂 Good luck to you!

Post # 11
Member
2492 posts
Buzzing bee

You don’t because there is no polite way to ask for cash. Any gifts you do receive, accept graciously with prompt thank you notes. On the same token, honeymoon registries are considered the same as cash registries: don’t do them unless you seriously want to offend guests and have them cut off all ties with you.

Post # 12
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You could do a honeymoon or down payment registry, but I would recommend still doing at least a small traditional registry. A lot of guests are offended by the idea of honeymoon registries and will end up buying you something for your home anyway, which will probably be something you don’t want or need. Someone bought us a 105 year old silver ladle. Seriously, what are we going to do with that?

Post # 13
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@hamstergirl: well hello fellow passenger, we’re in the same boat. haha I’m sure you’ve gathered by now that there is no polite way to “ask” for money, and that the best you can do is do a cash/honeymoon registry and try to spread the word through family members. We’re hoping everyone can take a hint that if we’re having a very tiny wedding, are not buying a house, and do not have a macy’s registry that we could probably use the cash.

Granted, people that refuse to give cash will still gift you something. However I do not recommend making a small registry “just to make people happy” because people that are going to buy you something anyway are the same people that are going to buy what they want despite any sort of traditional registry. So, stick to your guns and spread the word- best of luck to you!  People are going to do what they want- you don’t have to register for things you don’t want.

Post # 14
Member
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We didn’t need a lot of stuff.  What we did was not register for much, didn’t have a shower, and had people say that cash would be the best gift if someone asked us.

Post # 15
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We didn’t register for stuff we didn’t need just because we “needed” to register. Yes, there are things that we “need” (new sheets, towels) and want (wine cooler with two temperature zones) but we didnt register for random crap.  We actually didn’t register for as many gifts as we are “supposed to” in the hopes that people will get the hint. 

Post # 16
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

WISHUPONASTAR.COM…. we’re using it! it’s a classy way of doing it.

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