- Wedding: August 2018 - Melbourne, Australia
I’m not sure where you are located, but a common thing at weddings here in Australia for couples who already live together is for them to have a “wishing well”, where guests place their cards which may or may not include cash. It is generally noted on the invitation that there will be a wishing well rather than a gift registry, and that it’s up to the guests if they wish to give a cash gift. It is never expected/asked for. They can be a good option if you don’t want/need physical gifts, however some guests will still give a gift rather than cash, which of course is still lovely.
I think it’s rude to basically tell guests to give cash, and even ruder to specify an amount. Keep in mind, it is potentially costing your guests money to attend your wedding, if they have to travel, pay a babysitter, buy a suitable outfit etc.
We went with a wishing well at our wedding at my Mum’s insistence because “People WILL want to give you guys something, they know you already live together so you would be wise to provide a safe place for them to put their cards/cash.” Okay Mum lol. We didn’t want to have a wishing well at all, as we were so grateful for our guests coming along (many who came from interstate) and we certainly didn’t expect them to give us money for a wedding which was our choice to have. But I could see my Mum’s point for safety reasons if anyone did give cash. So along with our invite, we included a little poem (formatting will be off as I’m on my phone):
*The love of family and friends brings happiness that never ends.
Each one of you a special treasure that fills our lives with joy and pleasure.
Your presence at our wedding is present enough, so don’t buy a gift as we have plenty of stuff.
However, if you would like to help us on our way, a gift towards our future would really make our day.
A wishing well we thought would be great, but only if you wish to participate.*
So yeah, basically what everyone else said.. don’t ask or expect a certain amount or cash in general, but there are ways to say if people want to give something, ‘stuff’ isn’t needed.