No Gift Registry, Money please!

posted 7 months ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 47
Member
11621 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I’m not a fan of honeymoon registries personally, but if you have one, I think it would be especially dishonest to use the site as a virtual money laundering operation in order to make asking for money appear more acceptable. 

Post # 48
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

myv13 :  Just dont register. Most people get the hint. Also don’t use a cringey flowery poem asking for cash. Because you can’t say your precense is enough so no presents but yes cash in the same breath 

ETA by not having a registry this eliminates a bridal shower for you. No gift card or cash shower… those always make me gag. 

Post # 49
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

Those poems wer so tacky it  hurts my teeth

Post # 50
Member
3515 posts
Sugar bee

There’s nothing modern or liberal about asking people for money.

We’ve been to about 6 weddings in the last 1.5 years. Not one asked for monetary gifts. But we gave cash, as we always do. You really don’t have to specify cash if you have no registry. And you run the risk of turning off some of your guests (generally the wealthier ones) by asking for money. It’s just not done. 

If you can’t afford the wedding without help from your guests you need to scale down.

Post # 51
Member
2988 posts
Sugar bee

myv13 :  Regarding etiquette, when in doubt, consult/trust the experts:

The Knot obviously has lost their marbles…

Post # 52
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I understand the desire for money, and it’s likely that you’ll get some checks, particularly if you have a larger wedding. Don’t ask for money though. Yikes. I would think not making a registry would give people the hint and if you get stuff you don’t need you can always sell it or upgrade what you have and sell your older things.

Post # 53
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

arosebyanyothername :  

We’re having a wedding for which we can’t pay 

So please give us cash to help fund the day.

We do not want presents that are bagged or wrapped,  

 All that we want is some cold hard cash.

 So please when you come bring a gift that will count

 Make sure that it’s at or above this amount

—————————

 myv13 : Make sure to include this on your site. 

Post # 55
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

claroquesi :  Trademarked 2018 for the money hungry bride… all rights reserved. This poem cannot be copied or utilized without expressed tackiness of the bride. All uses of the poem and all others like it will be judged to the fullest extent. 

Post # 56
Member
2367 posts
Buzzing bee

I always give cash, unless the bride and groom specifically ask for cash. 

Then I give them a gift.

Post # 57
Member
843 posts
Busy bee

somathemagical :  I don’t believe that it completely eliminates a shower.  Stock the bar or wine showers are perfectly acceptable and a ton of fun, in my opinion. 

One of my friends had a very small party the night before her wedding with her closest female family and friends, and we showered her with tasteful, raunchy, and downright ridiculous lingerie. It was way too amusing, though this might be an event dependent on the bride and guests.  😉 

Post # 58
Member
11621 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

somathemagical : “ by not having a registry this eliminates a bridal shower for you. No gift card or cash shower… those always make me gag.”

I agree that gift card and cash showers are inappropriate but contrary to popular belief having no registry is not a cash grab and absolutely does not prevent a friend or friend of the family from throwing a traditional shower. People would simply shop the “old fashioned” way, for modest and practical things they think the couple could use. I’ve been to several like this, actually, and they were very nice. 

Post # 59
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

weddingmaven :  OP actively said she needs nothing. So wouldn’t that be wasteful? I do think a specific shower like a stock the bar or recipe or li hirer would make sense. But when I see no registry and some asking for just money I don’t see a reason for additional gift giving events. If she wanted housewares then she would have registered. 

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