(Closed) No gift to a 2nd wedding, would I be the only one?

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What gift do you bring for 2nd+ weddings?
    Nothing--best wishes only. : (26 votes)
    12 %
    Cash : (87 votes)
    39 %
    Registry / Tangible Item : (98 votes)
    44 %
    Other : (13 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 137
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    RE – Baby Showers

    Indeed they are only usually held for a first baby.

    As they are meant to be a way to accummulate the bigger things one needs to provide for a baby (not just clothing) but stuff like a Car Seat, High Chair, Playpen etc.  And this is WHY “pitching in / pooling money” at a Baby Shower is very common

    Second baby, Baby Showers are usually only thrown if there are extenuating circumstances… such as multiple births (now having twins, triplets, etc).  OR if there has been a long break between babies… like 10 years… in that it is assumed that the Mom-2B has given away all the baby goods within that timeframe.

    Hope this helps,

    PS… As with any event… when it comes to money there is a HUGE difference between pitching in or pooling money between a Hostess asking for contributions… that is NEVER Cool as it makes the event look like a fundraiser with an “entry fee / cover charge” vs people being welcome to the party and doing / bringing whatever they wish.  Therefore, pitching in / pooling money should be done more casually amongst friends / Guests themselves.


    Post # 138
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @littlelucygoose:  “I guess I’m confused as to why people have a 2nd wedding. Why not elope? Why not have a backyard party? Why go through the whole 10 yards and then pout when people, like me, balk?”

    The reason I’m having a second wedding, is that my fiance hasn’t been married before. Should he have to exclude his family from his wedding because I’ve made mistakes in the past? We’re having a very small wedding (28 guests), and I’m pretty sure there will only be 3 people there who both attended my first wedding (besides my immediate family). 

    I was reluctant to register because I already have a lot of nice stuff (and it’s my second wedding), but my friends kept asking, so I gave in. Like I said, most of them didn’t attend my first wedding (and didn’t even know me when I was in my first marriage). Like them, I would want to buy a gift for a friend who was getting remarried. I would buy my friends a gift because I’m happy for them, not because of some etiquette rule. 

    I don’t expect gifts from anyone, and will definitely tell my friends who are flying to the wedding not to buy me anything. That said, I have to admit that I would NEVER show up at any wedding empty handed, just like I would never show up at a party empty handed. Where I’m from, if someone is hosting you for en event, you either contribute something (like a dish at a dinner party) or bring a gift.

    The topic ‘No gift to a 2nd wedding, would I be the only one?’ is closed to new replies.

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