(Closed) No Gift – What would you do (or not do)? Need advice

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sure the person already feels really bad about not getting you something. I would just write them a nice thank you for showing their support and for being at your wedding. I am sure you were happy they were there.

Post # 4
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m sorry, but I think that you just have to let things lie.

If you’re worried they DID send you something and you just didn’t receive it, probably they will contact you. But I’m afraid there’s no real polite way to ask about it directly, though.

Post # 5
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Unfortunately you just have to let it be. It sucks, I know, a lot of our guests did not even get us a card. You just have to move past it and not let it ruin your impression of them or ruin how you feel about your wedding

Post # 6
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes its in poor taste to not give a gift, but imagine how bratty it would be if you DID say something. There’s no nice way to tell someone you’re mad that they didn’t buy you something.

Post # 7
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We had a lot of close people do nothing, no card, no email or anything.  I just let them be.

Post # 8
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We had 2 couples not give us anything. I just sent them cards thanking them for coming to our wedding.

The one was a good girlfriend of mine and the lack of even a card was (and still is) a little shocking to me. I almost wonder if she forgot to bring it and has since totally forgot about it because its just not like her. I went to her wedding 6 months later and gave her the usual $200 in her wedding card. I have no hard feelings about it but I still wonder what happened.

The other was my husband’s niece and her bf, and the lack of gift from them was to be expected. I expected that from them. They probably drank more of the free alcohol than anyone else too. We have them a patio set last summer when we bought a new one (because they wanted it) and they turned around and sold it at a garage sale. DIRTS! The least they could have done is given us the cash for the patio set as a gift lol.

Post # 9
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We had this happen and, as hard as it is to not be upset at this a little bit, you have to remember that they came to your wedding and supported you on your big day and that the love is still there. Send them a thank you card for turning up and being there with their love and support and leave it at that.

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think going to the wedding kind of negates giving a card or writing an email because they are physically there to show support and give congrats. And this happened a long time ago and it still bothers you, you should really let it go.

We had a ton of people not give us anything. Some didn’t even respond to teh invitation and didn’t give us anything. But we still thanked everyone who came to the wedding regardless because they gave their time, love and support.

Post # 11
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I know how you feel. No one in our immediate gave us a gift or a card. It is a little odd since they didn’t help at all with the wedding and they’re not financially unstable. My advice is to blow it off. I had really hurt feelings because my husband’s brother received some nifty gifts from his family, but we got nada.

Post # 12
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree that it’s difficult and hurtful but there’s nothing really to be done. I agree that at least a card should be given at a wedding, but we had some people not do anything at ours. Was I hurt? A little. But I brushed it off and we’re going to send those who came and didn’t give anything a thank you for coming card 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@OfficeBride: sometimes just the price of the dress and the gas or plane ticket to get there IS the present.

some invitations even say that

your presence is the present

 

sometimes showing up the most a person can do

 

 

Post # 14
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I always wonder when brides ask this question.  Just out of total curiosity, if you hypothetically brought it up to them, what would you want their response to be?

Post # 15
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think the issue is that you are perceiving this as a definite slight or message to you.  It is hard not to, if you are the type that would never go to a wedding without giving a gift, but there are many people out there who will not give a gift for a variety of reasons, some that don’t have a thing to do with you and your husband.  If the person hasn’t changed the way they interact with you or let on that there is a problem in your relationship, you should just let it go.

Post # 16
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Not everyone gives gifts, so I don’t think you shouldd even be wondering this. Especially with their monetary situation!

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