(Closed) No gifts from a lot of guests

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 61
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

joehawthorne :  you still will not even acknowledge that traditional wedding ettiquette gives you a year to send a wedding gift?? wow. Okay Im done for reals haha.

Post # 63
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

When you send them a thank you card for attending the wedding, with no mention of receiving their gift, they might reach out asking whether or not you received their gift – that is if the cards were actually stollen. 

Post # 64
Member
1624 posts
Bumble bee

joehawthorne :  If you are going to confront the non-gift-giving guests can you please do it in writing? I love reading these types of letters on Reddit. Use the term “stiffed” a lot so we know it’s you!

Post # 66
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee

Gifts aren’t a requirement.  That’s why they’re GIFTS. 

Tit for tat is tacky!

Post # 67
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

I would never dream of going to a wedding without bringing a gift, but if people show up to my wedding in a few months without one, I don’t give a hoot. I invited them because I want them to be there to celebrate my marriage – not because I want a gift.

In one breath you say you’re worried gifts might have gotten lost/stolen, in your next breath you’re calling all of those people cheapskates. You obviously don’t think the gifts were lost or stolen, you just want to call out those that didn’t give gifts. You calling them out is 10 times more rude than not bringing a gift to a wedding. But, go for it. See how well it works out for you. This will likely cause problems in your marriage, between your wife and her family and friends, and between you and your wife’s family and friends. This is a terrible idea all around.

 

Edit: Oh, and those people you call and question probably still won’t get you a gift. So, you’ll ruin relationships and be without a gift!

Post # 69
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I can’t believe anyone counted the number of gifts they received especially to the extent of “his side” and “her side.” I barely had time to sort through them, let alone count them. In my opinion, it would be tacky to mention it.  It is a gift. No one is required to give one.  If there were concerns about them being lost or stolen, it might have been better to plan for that ahead of time.  At this point, not much can be done.

Post # 71
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

joehawthorne :  

Your posts are all over the place.

First, you’re upset at her side and a couple of individuals.

Then you’re worried about theft,

Then I think the truth comes out that you were expecting to “recoup” costs (don’t have a wedding you can’t afford then but obviously too late for you)

 

Now, why are wasting time on your honeymoon to post about this?? You are obviously set in your opinion. 

Post # 72
Member
321 posts
Helper bee

scissorgirl :   theatrejulia :  Thanks I was going to say this exactly. 

  1. Being generous is giving without expecting anything back.
  2. You don’t go all out on a wedding if you can’t AFFORD it. Recoup the cost? GTFO.

So wrong and WRONG. You are what’s wrong with the world my friend.

And drop it with “they must have been stolen” since just her side is “missing”.

There’s a 50% chance your wife realizes how big of a jerk she married since you are 100% delusionnal and rude AF. 33% of her side realized it.

Post # 74
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

joehawthorne :  No offense and I am sure you are a great guy … but you are taking this too seriously … it seems moreso than your wife. If my husband was as pressed as you are about not getting gifts, I’d be sideyeing him like crazy and wondering why I married such a pansy. Man up and just realize that not everyone of your guests will buy you gifts. Yes, it does stink and you would prefer everyone return your geneorosity, but it often doesn’t happen that way. 

I think what stands out the most to me is your “well-100%-of-my-family-gave-presents-and-only 57.2%-of-hers-did.” Instead of calcuating the gift receiving percentage by each side of your families, enjoy your marriage. And the fact that you want to enlist your wife to call on each of these family members and inquire about these gifts? Which could cause undue ackwardness? Dude, please go sit down somewhere.

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