(Closed) No Gifts from half of family?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

I think it speaks volumes that they prepared/hosted the dinner by themselves. That takes huge effort. I think that is enough to be thankful for. Obviously they support you or they would not have contributed to the wedding in that way. It’s a bummer about the “material gifts” but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a huge deal.

Post # 5
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

@Ms. BamaFan:  Yeah, I can see that. I hate when things make my FH upset, too. Maybe talk to him about how they hosted the dinner and that can be really expensive/a huge burden so it’s not like they didn’t contribute at all…if the lack of support becomes a future issue you can always talk to him/them about it. But you are newlyweds! You have exciting things going on…don’t get hung up on this. Things will pan out. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

are they the kind of people who normally give cards for stuff (like birthdays or christmas)? DH’s family doesn’t send cards… ever. not even to him on his birthday. they didn’t give us one at our wedding but they did give us a huge gift a few months prior which was paying for our hotel on our honeymoon. maybe your DH’s family just aren’t the card giving type and the rehearsal dinner was their way of showing their support for your marriage?

Post # 7
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I understand if you’re disappointed. It would have been nice if they could have take the time to purchase a card and write down something meaningful.

Post # 8
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

I would also be upset abotu this – a card & the time to write in it goes a long way.

Post # 11
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I would be disappointed as well. I think a card or at least if they had made a point to get extra pictures with you or congratulate you or made awesome speeches would have been fantastic and helpful.

Post # 12
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ms. BamaFan:  I would say that they could have least given you a congratulatory wedding card to say congratulations and happy wishes! 

Post # 13
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Gifts should never be expected from anyone, unless at a shower, because that is the point. The definition of a gift is “something that is given freely”. They may have considered their gift as the cooking. Did they help you guys in any financial way for the wedding?

Another thing to consider is that a gift could be coming your way but maybe they are all chipping in for something big and it hasn’t been purchased yet or just waiting. Some guests believe they have a year to give a gift. I have yet to read a firm word on whether or not this is correct…I guess it’s up to the giver.

Two weeks is really not a long time. I would at least give it 3 months. Although if I were you I could totally see not feeling welcome but not everyone is a big gift giver. I’ve known people who don’t make a big deal of any event…even birthdays. If they gave you gifts at a shower or during your engagement plus the cooking, they may feel they have done enough. Which to me, they have and some people are not “card” people…they don’t see the point of paper that will be likely thrown away. I love cards but I just wanted to give another way of seeing this. But I still personally wouldn’t love being in the same position…like I totally get where you are coming from.

Post # 14
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t just be upset, I’d be pissed! I think it’s very nice they did the rehearsal dinner, but aren’t they supposed to?! I mean, that’s the “tradition”, right? It would most certainly not have killed them to send you a card.

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