(Closed) No gifts from the bridesmaids at shower

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
1356 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Usually when bridesmaids help plan/pay for the shower, they do not (have to) buy a gift.  It seems like this is not the case.  Maybe they are planning to contribute to a larger wedding gift or towards a bachelorette party.  Either way, please write thank you notes for the gifts you DID get ASAP (so many people forget this), and try not to let it bother you.  I don’t think you should ask them about a gift or bring it up at all.  Try to put it out of your mind and enjoy the fact that your wedding has (thusfar) been drama free!


Post # 4
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If it were me, I would just leave it alone. There could be a number of reasons why they didn’t get you a gift. I wouldn’t push it as far as why they didn’t get you something or if they plan to get you something. Maybe they just can’t afford it. Although they may be established and older, it could possible just not fit into the budget right now. Maybe they didn’t know that a gift was expected.

Who knows. I wouldn’t ask about it though. That could be awkward. I would be offended if someone asked why I didn’t get them something…or even if they just hinted as to why.

Post # 5
3605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

 3 of 4 bridesmaids contributed

their gift was their contribution and time – although a card would have been nice but sadly it seems to be the way society is these days

my advise is let it go and smile – enjoy that your wedding so far has been drama free.  goodluck

Post # 6
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

There could be a million reasons they didnt bring anything. I would give them the benefit of the doubt. 

Post # 7
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would let it go. There could be many different reasons why, but it will probably create drama and stress if they think they were expected to bring a gift.

Post # 8
6377 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

There’s no polite way to inquire about a lack of gift. I’d just forget about it and carry on. Those who contributed (even just in a small way) probably thought that their contribution was their gift and they’d be correct. As for the Bridesmaid or Best Man who didn’t contribute, oh well. Gifts are nice but not a necessity. 

Post # 9
9994 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with PPs, let it go.  It seems like you had a nice shower, and 3 of the girls contributed financially.  Their gift to you was giving money (for some), and their time for the shower and baking or decorations.  I wouldn’t expect gifts from BMs at a shower.  I think bringing it up to them would make things unnecessarily awkward.

Post # 10
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yikes! Well all you can do is just forget about it.

It was pretty rude of them though. I believe that BMs should still give gifts. None of my BMs attended my shower though. From what I’ve seen at bridal showers I’ve been to, BMs normally did a “BM gift” and it was something cutesy, off registry and the bride’s style.

Maybe your BMs did more than you think? Invites alone set me back $60 for one shower I planned.

Post # 11
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with everyone else to let it go.  However it does seem very odd.  I have been a Bridesmaid or Best Man several times and helped throw showers and always gave a gift.  Depending on how much I contributed sometimes the gift was less than others.  One time all of the Bridesmaid or Best Man chipped in and sent the bride a gift after the shower to get her something she needed and did not get.  That may be the case in your situation because it is odd that not one gave a gift. 

Post # 12
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree let it go,  they a lot more money to shell out for the wedding then your other guest. I think it’s rude to ask why someone didn’t give you gift, while they are working you don’t know the personal details of their money or budget.

Post # 14
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just as an outsider, I think you should just assume the best intentions in this instance. If the Bridal Party contributed to the shower, in my area/family they would not bring a gift to the shower in addition to that. At this point I would just let it go.

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